I feel lost again.

I just can't seen to keep my head in the now. I want to get out so bad and I know it's coming but I can't appreciate anything I have right here, right now, anymore. The place I want to go the most at the moment is to London. If I had the money to leave tomorrow I would. Clare, I don't think you understand how much I appreciate you allowing me to come see you! I think part of the reason is that it's the most escape I will get. I do love everything UK, even though I've never been, but the thing I'm most excited for is to be free for a month. Clare is not a best friend, just a good friend, so she doesn't have a set way of how she thinks I am, like a best best friend would. There's lots about me she doesn't know so for me to grow in the ways I want to will be easier with someone who isn't already set on the way I am, if that makes any sense at all.

I have lost a lot of motivation lately as well. I don't have the drive to go out and spend a day just being a shutter-bug like I used to. I really need to find something new that will take my mind off of life until January comes and I leave for Australia. I'm open for any suggestions.

On a positive note!
M came home!! She said Spain is beautiful and she wants to go again with me someday.
She brought me back a charm for my bracelet, a mask for my collection, and a beautiful fan. She was going to buy chocolate for me too from the place she bought it last time she was in Europe on the way home but her wallet got stolen on her second last day by some Spanish boys that were pretending to hit on her, so she didn't have a penny to her name until she got back home. But she said Spain was worth getting her wallet stolen, and she would do it again in a flash even if it meant loosing it all over again. I'm very glad she enjoyed herself [=