Friday, October 2, 2009

I believe...

I truly, honestly believe that everything in life happens for a reason. Things are linked together and set up to all flow perfectly and sometimes, life gives us a little foreshadowing.
Like yesterday. Yesterday I woke up and something inside me said, "Jennine, you are going to wear full-butt underwear today." I never wear full-butt underwear unless I'm wearing a skirt or sweats. I hate the way it bunches and all that jazz, but for some reason I wanted to that morning. So I did. I regretted it all day long too, until I went bowling and my pants split! Not just a teeny little hole or rip, no. The entire butt pretty much was opened up. Luckily though was wearing good underwear and I continues my 2 games of bowling without my ass showing to the public!

On a little bit less embarrassing note, a similar situation happened a while ago the I heard of on the news.
A man, homeless and an alcoholic, was sitting on a park bench as he did everyday watching over the river. That's how he spent his days, all day, everyday.
A young teenage boy fell into the river just in front of this mans bench and was drowning.
This man, drunk and homeless, jumped in and saved this boys life.
The town he lived in was so grateful and amazed by the mans heroic acts and decided to give him a place to live, clean clothes, food, and a job, but eventually the man ended up back on the streets, homeless again.
He continued to sit on his bench and watch the river.
He saved another persons life, from drowning in the river in the same spot. Dove in and save another life.

Had this man been able to keep his job and home and stay off the streets, there would be one less life on this earth today.

Coincidence? I do not believe so.

I also believe that every man, woman, and child is put on this earth for a purpose.
We will all find it. Even if we never know that we have found it.

This mans purpose in life was to be a homless man with an addiction to alcohol. That's what he was put on this earth to do. Even if it was only to save the two lives that he did, and allow them to survive and carry on to complete what they were put on this earth to do.

I also lately have learned to believe in guardian angels.

A few months ago if you had asked I would have just laughed and said, "Ha. Likely."
But my friend got into this psychic type stuff, which I also rolled my eyes at at first, until she told me that she would do a reading for me. Before she started, while she was listening, concentrating, getting the cards ready and things like that, I occupied myself by glancing around the room and I found myself staring at a bookshelf just to my left filled with so many books, everyone about birds and butterflies. Rare bird species, butterflies of Alberta, and I was so hooked on them. I couldn't take my eyes off the complete row of butterfly and bird books. Something about them captures my attention and 'popped'. It really clicked. Stuck into my head. Something about those birds and butterflies was there for ME. Once she was ready, she read my angel cards and told me about my past present and future, all 100% completely accurate. Especially the past. She said that her angels talk to my angels and they will communicate and tell her when to flip a card, that's how she decides which cards to lay down on the table. The angels know where the cards are in the deck and they know my life plan. Beginning, middle and end.
It was all beginning to get a bit freaky but I also got a sense of safety and security as all this was playing out. Then my friend stopped and told me that my angels were trying to tell her something. She listened and then she told me that I had to start accepting that they were there. I had to let them in and trust them. They said that they have been trying to show me their presence for awhile now, mostly with passing by birds and butterflies.
Birds and butterflies. They were sending birds and butterflies to me to try and let me know that they are there. That's there way of letting me know that they are watching me and keeping me safe.
My friend told me that I could ask my angels anything I wanted and they would know the answers. Although there are something that the angels believe are better if you don't know the answer to and something they know are better left unknown so sometimes they will refuse to answer the question. I asked who my angels were and my friend began to listen to the angels answers. One is my grandfather who passed away when I was 5, the other, his wife, my grandmother, who passed when I was 2. The third, and this one stumped me for awhile, my friend said, was some sort of cousin. It was a girl, young, very young, with blond, blond hair and lots of energy. I couldn't think of who on earth it could possibly be. So I just left it alone. Later on when both of us were with a group of friends in her living room talking about everything we had just learned about our selves and our lives from her, it occurred to me that I just might know who the third angel was. I remember back a few years ago at a family reunion, I had met this adorable little girl. 5 years old, brilliant blond hair, shy and timid, a second cousin of mine. She, for some reason, really like me and my step sister though and once she spent a bit of time with us she really opened up. She was such a little bundle of fun and so full of energy and spirit. Her dad said that she was shy to begin with but if she connected with someone, she would really open up and show her true colors. She did this for us. We spent a lot of time collecting and painting rocks, playing catch, and even pretending we were kitties. But, I never saw her again after the weekend was over. Then, about six months later, maybe a bit more, my mom heard that she had died. She was sitting on the tractor with her daddy while he was doing some farming in the fields and she fell off without her dad realizing. She was 6. He ran over her and it killed her.
I remembered all this so well and so I figured it must be her who was watching over me, so I text my mom and asked what that little girls name was, because I had forgotten over the years. I got a reply back from my mom but before I read it, before I even opened up my phone, I asked my friend, sitting on the other couch, on the opposite side of the room, to ask the angels what the little girl angels name was. She asked. She listened. She told me it started with an M. She said "I think it's like Mikayla or something. Sometimes she can't hear their answers 100% clearly, especially names.
I opened up my phone, opened up my message from my mom and there was one word. One name sent back to me. Mikayla.

I feel this little girl now everyday. She told my friend that I needed to laugh more and that I needed to bring out my inner kid. She told me this when I was going through a time where I was very down and miserable a lot.

I now believe in guardian angels 100% and I know that even when I'm all alone, even in the middle of the worst night of my life, anytime, all the time, there are three unjudging spirits watching over me and guiding me through everything I do. They know what I'm meant to do, where I'm going to end up and they will do whatever it takes to lead me there. All I have to do is trust.

If this isn't enough for you, I just want to through one more story into the mix.

My grandmother was very very sick before she died. Her mind was just one of the few things escaping her. She spent her final few months in the hospital and she'd often get lonely and call up her daughters. Who would include my mother, and ask them to come and visit her. She, like I said, was beginning to lose her mind, and she believed that she was staying in a hotel. She would always call my mom and my aunts and ask them to come up to the hotel and visit with her a bit.
Awhile after my grandma's death my mom came home to find she had a voice mail on her phone. She listened to it.
This is what is said,
"Hi Tracy, it's mom. I was just getting lonely and wondered if you would come on up to the hotel later today and visit me. I love you."
My mom's name is Tracy.

Now, you can believe this, or you can think I'm a huge phony and made it all up but I know it's true. You can also believe that it's some crazy coincidence involving a lady with a daughter and a wrong number, but I believe, I know with everything inside of me, that my grandma called my house that day, specifically when my mom was out, to leave her a message and tell her that she loved her.
I know it's true, and I love knowing that she's still with us.

So many people look at me and say, wow. If something like that ever happened to me, I wouldn't like it, I'd be freaked right out. But it's not like that. Once it happens to you and you really believe it;s true, a sense of comfort washes over you and it's not uncomfortable at all. I've gotten to the point now where if one day, my grandmother, or grandfather, or even little Mikayla came up to me in person, I would not be scared. I would feel nothing but love and security.

I don't care if you think all this is a lie, I don't care if you think I'm crazy. Something inside me told me that today was a good day to share my true feelings about all this and so I did.
And I'm not afraid to answer truthfully if someone asks If I believe in angels and spirits and ghosts and the path of life and purpose for everyone. I'll say it.

I believe.