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Sunday, February 28, 2010

My sorrows pass with the changing seasons.

The ice melts and the chill begins to leave the air.
The true colors of the earth are able to shine through, and leave the harsh nothingness of a pure white blanket behind.
But is this new warmth here to stay, or are the season fooling, and putting on a false front?

Friday, February 12, 2010

I hate blabber-mouths!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

You're like a best friend that I'm not best friends with yet.

I know that you will read this and right away know I am talking about you but, but that's ok, cause I'm not trying to keep it a secret.

Somebody has placed them self in my life at the exact right time that I needed them.
This person has gone out of their way to check up on me on many separate occasions and although I find it sort of hard to open up and actually talk and get everything off my chest, this soul has come and lifted some of the burden without me having to say a word. He just somehow wiggled his way into my life and I couldn't be more grateful. This isn't a person that I hangout with on a day to day basis, and I've never had a real deep conversation with him either but he has let me know that if ever I need someone, he'll be there and I couldn't have asked for a promise like that at any better of a time. The "How are you doing?" texts are more than a "Yo, what's up?" I can actually feel that when he ask, he really truly wants to know how I'm doing. He's genuinely concerned about my well-being. And he has offered me a ride to work now, and even though I feel greedy accepting, because I am perfectly capable of taking the bus, I am planning on taking him up on the offer on a regular basis because even just sitting in the same car with him makes me feel like I can relax and let go of some stress. I don't know why this is, maybe because I have very few people in my life right now that I can honestly say I trust with everything. And that includes trusting not to judge. He just gives off that vibe of promise and truth and just feeling it makes me feel better. This probably sounds like I am sitting here ranting my love story to blogger, but it's really not like that at all. I feel like I am sitting on a dock with my feet in the water on a warm summer night after the sun has gone down when he's in anyway present. (That includes text message, because texting is known as presence now, thanks to the 21st century.) It's like when you wake up in the middle of the night after one of those horrible horrible dreams and you roll over and your old teddy bear is right there waiting to cuddle, or after you finish a snowball fight and you get back to the house and your friends adorable little brother has made everyone hot chocolate, or when you grab a blanket and lay with your life long best friend in the grassy country field and watch a meteor shower late one night in August. I agree, this is kind of ridiculous, but I am the kind of person who likes to explain in detail when I think someone is amazing, even if I do barely know them. So if you don't already know who you are then you're a fool, but thank you, just for being there, cause life has hit that "This is the way things are now that high school is done and all your friends are going their separate ways and your parents expect more from you now that you're an adult" snag for me, and it sucks. But I am more than happy there are people who care about me enough to step in and help in the littlest ways like you. Don't take this in a creepy way please. Take it in a, "thank you from the bottom of my heart" way. Cause writing a blog for you is pretty much the only way I know of to let out my true feelings of gratitude.

A grin for you [=

Today was a good day. I like being at work, I always seem to be happier when I'm there. I don't have to fake anything or try to make anyone proud. Nobody there wants me to try harder to be something that I can't right now, so it's a nice escape while it lasts. I also kind of like the bus ride home. I hate the bus ride to work because I usually have to rush myself to catch it and it's always full of screaming middle school kids. But on the ride home, the bus is almost always empty and the hour of relaxation is sort of nice. To just sit and think and listen to music and not have to do anything or talk to anyone if I don't want to. It's like having a nap after work minus the sleeping.
And I have been thinking about the future a bit and some plans are unfolding quite nicely. Achievable plans without having to stretch myself to my limits.
Things all round are just finally starting to look up a tiny bit. Maybe winter just isn't my season.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Mais hier est derrière nous.

A lion rages, a volcano erupts, one hundred fireworks go off. A gun fires multiple times and a bomb explodes with force enough to collapse entire towns.
Painted smiles, scripted words, mimicked laughs, and thoughts uncensored.
Basic needs, piling wishes, and multiplying desires. Unfulfilled.
Emotions, memories, dreams, trapped words and knowledge of truth untold. Bound to one single, fragile mind.
Weakness and an abundance of a new found sense of falsehood
Tomorrow will come, but that's not always a positive phrase.
Yesterday held the coo of a songbird, and crashing waves. Rising suns, falling stars and perfectly formed snowflakes.
Each day a new ambition and flooding goals.
True happiness felt from within, great moments to cherish forever, fantasies exploding from an eager soul.
A strong heart, mind and outlook.
But yesterday is behind us.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Ég finn ekki hamingjusamur lengur ... og það er meira en bara brottför áfanga.

I wish I could say that in English but I'm scared to admit it to anyone just yet.