Thursday, May 29, 2014

"Some day" is so far away.

As tired eyes sleep, 

Another set weep,
Begging for "some day" to come.
For the days filled with truth,
And years filled with youth,
And two hearts beating as one. 

But the day is not "some", 
It has still yet to come. 
The future holds on much too tight.
So down I will lay, 
And patient I'll stay, 
While these eyes weep through the night. 

Friday, May 27, 2011

Hello again =)

It's been awhile.
MANY things have changed. MANY.
I had a slight break, but as I promised, I'm back =)
I'm not going to fill you in on what my life is like right now, because I'm more than a tad busy with a few things for the next bit. But my break is over. Ive missed this place!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

A month?!

I know, I know!! Jennine what are you thinking?? Abandoning your blog for a MONTH!!! I don't care to explain though. I will continue, so stay posted. Just give me time.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

As promised

These last few days just haven't really been blog days. I apologize.
My parents left the night of the first. They are currently in the Caribbean soaking up the sun and the experience. I'm happy for them but jealous as all get out.
The night they left, I got a message from a friend of mine who hid a well-before-mid-life-crisis.
Long story short, he needed a place to stay while he looked for a place to rent. And as much as he probably thinks it was a favor for him, it was also a favor to me! I hate when my parents leave. I love the feeling of being grown up and on my own, but I hate the loneliness of an empty home. This week I discovered the joys of a room mate!
Nathan is one of those people who to me, is like family. It felt like we had lived together for years, and I kind of miss him already. But the five days he was here, made me REALLY want to move out. I love having a room mate, I love having the freedom of being on my own and I love that grown up feeling that comes with taking care of something as huge as a house! So. I am well aware that moving out with severely dampen the rate at which I can save for a trip, but I also know that as of right now, I am traveling, as well as spending way too much money on crap I don't actually need, such as clothing, fast food and alcohol. If I were to cut the unimportant things out of my spending, I could easily afford to share a place with someone AND travel. IF I were to cut that out.
My goal for myself is to find a new job and ditch Rona, which is giving me a grand ol total of five and a half hours a week. And put away $1200 a month. $800 for traveling, $400 for "rent". (Which should be very possible with a decent second job considering when I first started at Rona I was working 30 hours a week and making $2000/month between my two jobs. This would leave me with $600 spending per month for groceries, phone bill, entertainment and bus fair. well over enough if I control my spending. And I would still be putting away the same amount as I am right now for traveling.
If I can go all the way till my next trip (in April) putting away $1200 a month and not run into any troubles, then I think I may just move out the beginning of May. Coming from a 19.5 year old, this sounds like a plan that should have been execute a couple years ago, but when you have it so good at home, and you have to choose between living your dream, which for me is traveling, and something you REALLY want, it's not always the easiest choice. But lately, I am realizing that if I grow up a little, I can easily make BOTH happen. All I need to do is discipline myself a little bit more. Or a lot more.


I'm sincerely sorry, if anyone even really cares. I just have been busy. With my parents gone, and with having a room mate for the past 5 days. I'll give you an update and I'll post all my missed day challenges once I'm home from work. Promise!

Friday, December 3, 2010

I know. I've been failing on my thirty day challenge as far as yesterday and today go. And I'm going to fail for the rest of today cause I'm in no shape to write a nice long post.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Day 6 --- A stranger

DUCKY @ [written*sanctuary]

Start: 2121
Music: "Moon" // George Winston
You held my hand when the moon was high
Kissed my lips and made me sigh
Breath lifting up into the sky
I should've known better than to lie
But the way it lifted up to the stars
Even though I knew in my heart
That the promise "We'll never be apart"
Was doomed right from the start
It made me want to lie
End: 2123
Start: 2125
Music: Piano Sonata #8 in C Minor, Op 13 "Pathetique" //
Beethoven (played by Vladimir Ashkenazy)
There are stairs. She runs up each one with her heart in her feet,
racing to see which will falter first and hoping neither does. She
gets to the top - too scared to worry about breathing - breaks
down the door - too worried to be scared about being followed,
not when she's looking, searching, her mother, her father -
"They took them."
She doesn't turn at the voice, doesn't ask if he's lying, doesn't
scream, doesn't yell.
Her knees give out first.
End: 2129
Start: 2129
Music: "Summer 78" // Yann Tiersen
There's a house on a hill
Green and full of daffodils
And a child I used to know
She rolled in the grass
Made her white dress match
The playground that she claimed as her own
I can hear her laugh when I dream
End: 2131
There was something in her eyes tonight
Something in the way it gleamed and made her
Move like she was made of moonlight
Her smile was a play
I didn't have a script but I knew if I asked nicely
She would feed me the lines word for word
Guiding my hands, my mouth, my fingers
Knowing exactly what she wants and how I can deliver
Directing me as to when to stop, when to breathe
How fast and how deep
And I swear I feel her thoughts before she tells me anything
But by morning she disappears
Leaving whispers in my ears
Of scenes filmed entirely in moonlight
Yes, a stranger is a difficult person to write about, especially a stranger that you have never spoken to, never seen from afar, whose voice you've never heard, never even seen a photo of. This defines a true stranger. I came across this individuals blog and I instantly fell in love with their style of writing. Beautiful. Even the chilling poetry feels warm. Simply beautiful. I admire every piece this soul posts. Each one, I can feel, is wrote in true depth, with complete dedication. PLEASE carry on with your wonderful writing Ducky, you are putting people in awe, even if you have no idea.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Day 5 --- You're oldest friend that you still hang out with


Man, this little lady and I have alot of history!! We have known each other since kindergarten. Since the start she has always been one of my best friends and though I switched up best friends often through my school years, she has always been on my list. she isn't someone I talk to everyday anymore, or hangout with on a regular basis, but we can go for months with out seeing each other and it doesn't matter. That's the beauty of a true friend. You don't need that time to re-get to know one another. You instantly act like you never left each others side. We have definitely grown in our own ways, and though we used to be like the same person when we were young, we have grown drastically different. But again, that makes no difference. It's always a nice feeling to know, that if I ever feel all alone and just need SOMEONE, that it won't matter how long it's been since I last called, or that she has no clue what's going on in my life at the present moment, she'll still be there for me, no matter what. And someone like that doesn't come around very often, and it's even more rare that they last a life time.

The world is easiest to challenge when you learn through mistakes made, and not stories told.

Tell me how the days go by
and how the wind can sing
And how a little bird can soar,
even on broken wing.
Tell me much of how we live,
and how we've come to be.
But how to live and how to act,
don't you dare tell me.

Monday, November 29, 2010

It's definitely a nice feeling when you allow yourself to let go of something that is only holding you back and causing you pain. Especially when you thought it would leave you feeling terrible, and instead leaves you feeling free♥

Day 4 --- Someone you wish you could trade lives with for a day.


This boy is so amazingly gifted in so amazingly many ways!! He can write and draw and design, and film and take incredible photos and he's musically talented and so creative and artsy and jeeze louise just everything I wish I was better at. He lives the life style I only dream of pulling off. Everything he lives, is everything I want to be. Sounds SUPER creepy. But for real, he's living my dream life. Therefor, obviously, the person I'd like to live as for a day. I'd kind of be like teasing myself though, for one day I could live his life and then switch back to my own as if the would were to say to me, "Here, you want it? Ok, you can have it. It's yours. ... JUST KIDDING!! HA HA!" But I'd still take it =P Even just for a day. I'm not saying by any stretch of the means, that I am UNhappy with my current life, no no. I'm wonderfully happy with it. I love who I am and I'm overly pleased with my own set of strengths and talents. But everyone wishes for more, to be just one more step up from what they are, right? Even the happiest of people dream for something better. Jordan Ettinger's life is just that one step up for me. From what I can see from an outside observers point of view that is. Maybe I'm only loving what he presents to the world. Maybe the inside scoop is a whole different story. Maybe I'll will be trapping myself in 24 hours of hidden torture?! This question has many angles. Because along with me living his life for a day, he will at the same time, be living mine. And I'm not totally sure how fond I am of a acquaintance being opened up to all that is Jennine Baughman. That would be a scary situation. So maybe if this question was who's talents would you like to inherit for a day, maybe then I would say Jordan. but now that I really look into this question, I think I can safely say, I would like to be me, forever and for always and keep my life, my own.

Six down, and a life time to go.

One of my very favorite feelings in the whole world is when I am able to check something off of my "100 Things to do Before I Die" list =] It feels AWESOME to know that I am living my life in a way that I am happy with. If you haven't made yourself one of these lists, I strongly suggest you do so.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Day 3 --- Someone you wish would forgive you


This guy was absolutely one of the most entertaining people to have around. He always makes you laugh even when it's the last thing you want to do. I had the opportunity, short lived as it was, to become good friends with him. But he's one of those people who does their own thing, goes their own way, and does what they want, when they want, even if it sometimes means leaving people in the dust. Sometime, more often than not, this would lead him to cancel plans, letting you know last minute, or not letting you know at all and just letting you wait around for nothing. As you can probably imagine, this got to be very frustrating. And one night, after yet again another one of his bailing-without-warning stunts, my drunken mind got the better of me and I sent him a probably quite unnecessarily over the top angry message about how much it upset me. The next day I apologized for sending it but I guess it hit him harder than I expected it to and he never replied. I tried a few times over the next long while to apologize and set things right, but he wanted nothing to do with that. And still to this day he hasn't spoken a word to me. I'm not one who regrets much, but that is one thing I forever will. I promised myself and my readers in a post awhile back that that would be the last time I mentioned it and that I was going to forget it. He wants what he wants and I can't change that. But this thirty day challenge of course is bringing it up. So there you have it. Dan, please forgive me. I really really am sorry, and I miss you and all your goofiness.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Day 2 --- Your first crush


I'm pretty sure he was every girl in my entire elementary school's first crush. But what can you do =]. The thing about him is, he stayed sweet. Most of the time, the boy that all the girls like in elementary school lets all the admiration go to his head and by the time high school rolls around, he's a complete jerk. But he stayed sweet. He was always a gentleman, always polite, caring, selfless, all through high school. And that's says something about a person. When you can hold onto all your values that you had during your first day of school, and graduate your last day with the same set of morals. True integrity.

Day 1 --- Your Best Friend


This girly is by far my favorite part about life. We didn't meet each other until April of grade ten (2008) and it wasn't till that summer that we really started to hang out. But by July, we knew we were best friends. and not just one of those best friends for the year things. I knew this was going to be the girl that stuck with me through the rest of high school, and I KNEW she'd be the one best friend I wouldn't lose touch with after graduation. She has been there for me through everything. She know things about me that even I don't know. She's that one friend that you can tell something terrible to and you know she won't change he mind about you. She has shown me how to let loose and be confident, she has shown me religion and the ways it can help you in tough times, and she has shown me what a real best friend is. Don't get me wrong, we still fight. We still disagree on things and yell at each other, but we can fight, and then go to a movie together an hour later. She is the one person I feel absolutely completely comfortable with to be completely and fully my self. We can be wild and goofy with each other. It doesn't matter what we do, we always have fun. Even when we shouldn't be. I honestly have no clue what would happen if I lost her. I would we lost myself. If I hadn't met her when I did, I don't think I would be in a point in my life yet that I'm happy with. Right now, I am completely happy with who I have become and what I've done with myself. And I think a big part of that goes to her, and how she has helped me grow and so, so many different ways. Throughout the years I have had a number of best friends, and they are all still important to me, but she is the one that I have been the closest to, and the one that would kill me the most to ever drift away from. And I truly believe she will still be there beside me on my 80th birthday to take a shot of tequila.
I love you Kelsie Rae Bakker! You are my best friend, and I hope that never ever changes.

P.S. This is for Friday cause I got lazy and didn't post yesterday.