As promised

These last few days just haven't really been blog days. I apologize.
My parents left the night of the first. They are currently in the Caribbean soaking up the sun and the experience. I'm happy for them but jealous as all get out.
The night they left, I got a message from a friend of mine who hid a well-before-mid-life-crisis.
Long story short, he needed a place to stay while he looked for a place to rent. And as much as he probably thinks it was a favor for him, it was also a favor to me! I hate when my parents leave. I love the feeling of being grown up and on my own, but I hate the loneliness of an empty home. This week I discovered the joys of a room mate!
Nathan is one of those people who to me, is like family. It felt like we had lived together for years, and I kind of miss him already. But the five days he was here, made me REALLY want to move out. I love having a room mate, I love having the freedom of being on my own and I love that grown up feeling that comes with taking care of something as huge as a house! So. I am well aware that moving out with severely dampen the rate at which I can save for a trip, but I also know that as of right now, I am traveling, as well as spending way too much money on crap I don't actually need, such as clothing, fast food and alcohol. If I were to cut the unimportant things out of my spending, I could easily afford to share a place with someone AND travel. IF I were to cut that out.
My goal for myself is to find a new job and ditch Rona, which is giving me a grand ol total of five and a half hours a week. And put away $1200 a month. $800 for traveling, $400 for "rent". (Which should be very possible with a decent second job considering when I first started at Rona I was working 30 hours a week and making $2000/month between my two jobs. This would leave me with $600 spending per month for groceries, phone bill, entertainment and bus fair. well over enough if I control my spending. And I would still be putting away the same amount as I am right now for traveling.
If I can go all the way till my next trip (in April) putting away $1200 a month and not run into any troubles, then I think I may just move out the beginning of May. Coming from a 19.5 year old, this sounds like a plan that should have been execute a couple years ago, but when you have it so good at home, and you have to choose between living your dream, which for me is traveling, and something you REALLY want, it's not always the easiest choice. But lately, I am realizing that if I grow up a little, I can easily make BOTH happen. All I need to do is discipline myself a little bit more. Or a lot more.

I KNOW!

I'm sincerely sorry, if anyone even really cares. I just have been busy. With my parents gone, and with having a room mate for the past 5 days. I'll give you an update and I'll post all my missed day challenges once I'm home from work. Promise!

I know. I've been failing on my thirty day challenge as far as yesterday and today go. And I'm going to fail for the rest of today cause I'm in no shape to write a nice long post.

Day 6 --- A stranger

DUCKY @ [written*sanctuary]

*

*

*
Start: 2121

Music: "Moon" // George Winston

*

You held my hand when the moon was high

Kissed my lips and made me sigh

Breath lifting up into the sky

I should've known better than to lie

But the way it lifted up to the stars

Even though I knew in my heart

That the promise "We'll never be apart"

Was doomed right from the start

It made me want to lie

*

End: 2123

*

Start: 2125

Music: Piano Sonata #8 in C Minor, Op 13 "Pathetique" //

Beethoven (played by Vladimir Ashkenazy)

*

There are stairs. She runs up each one with her heart in her feet,

racing to see which will falter first and hoping neither does. She

gets to the top - too scared to worry about breathing - breaks

down the door - too worried to be scared about being followed,

not when she's looking, searching, her mother, her father -

*

"They took them."

*

She doesn't turn at the voice, doesn't ask if he's lying, doesn't

scream, doesn't yell.

*

Her knees give out first.

*

End: 2129

*

Start: 2129

Music: "Summer 78" // Yann Tiersen

*

There's a house on a hill

Green and full of daffodils

And a child I used to know

She rolled in the grass

Made her white dress match

The playground that she claimed as her own

I can hear her laugh when I dream

*

End: 2131

*

*

*

Ache

*
There was something in her eyes tonight

Something in the way it gleamed and made her

Move like she was made of moonlight

Her smile was a play

I didn't have a script but I knew if I asked nicely

She would feed me the lines word for word

Guiding my hands, my mouth, my fingers

Knowing exactly what she wants and how I can deliver

Directing me as to when to stop, when to breathe

How fast and how deep

And I swear I feel her thoughts before she tells me anything

But by morning she disappears

Leaving whispers in my ears

Of scenes filmed entirely in moonlight

*

*

*

Yes, a stranger is a difficult person to write about, especially a stranger that you have never spoken to, never seen from afar, whose voice you've never heard, never even seen a photo of. This defines a true stranger. I came across this individuals blog and I instantly fell in love with their style of writing. Beautiful. Even the chilling poetry feels warm. Simply beautiful. I admire every piece this soul posts. Each one, I can feel, is wrote in true depth, with complete dedication. PLEASE carry on with your wonderful writing Ducky, you are putting people in awe, even if you have no idea.

Day 5 --- You're oldest friend that you still hang out with

JENELLE MOORE

Man, this little lady and I have alot of history!! We have known each other since kindergarten. Since the start she has always been one of my best friends and though I switched up best friends often through my school years, she has always been on my list. she isn't someone I talk to everyday anymore, or hangout with on a regular basis, but we can go for months with out seeing each other and it doesn't matter. That's the beauty of a true friend. You don't need that time to re-get to know one another. You instantly act like you never left each others side. We have definitely grown in our own ways, and though we used to be like the same person when we were young, we have grown drastically different. But again, that makes no difference. It's always a nice feeling to know, that if I ever feel all alone and just need SOMEONE, that it won't matter how long it's been since I last called, or that she has no clue what's going on in my life at the present moment, she'll still be there for me, no matter what. And someone like that doesn't come around very often, and it's even more rare that they last a life time.

The world is easiest to challenge when you learn through mistakes made, and not stories told.

Tell me how the days go by

and how the wind can sing

And how a little bird can soar,

even on broken wing.

Tell me much of how we live,

and how we've come to be.

But how to live and how to act,

don't you dare tell me.

It's definitely a nice feeling when you allow yourself to let go of something that is only holding you back and causing you pain. Especially when you thought it would leave you feeling terrible, and instead leaves you feeling free♥

Day 4 --- Someone you wish you could trade lives with for a day.

JORDAN ETTINGER

This boy is so amazingly gifted in so amazingly many ways!! He can write and draw and design, and film and take incredible photos and he's musically talented and so creative and artsy and jeeze louise just everything I wish I was better at. He lives the life style I only dream of pulling off. Everything he lives, is everything I want to be. Sounds SUPER creepy. But for real, he's living my dream life. Therefor, obviously, the person I'd like to live as for a day. I'd kind of be like teasing myself though, for one day I could live his life and then switch back to my own as if the would were to say to me, "Here, you want it? Ok, you can have it. It's yours. ... JUST KIDDING!! HA HA!" But I'd still take it =P Even just for a day. I'm not saying by any stretch of the means, that I am UNhappy with my current life, no no. I'm wonderfully happy with it. I love who I am and I'm overly pleased with my own set of strengths and talents. But everyone wishes for more, to be just one more step up from what they are, right? Even the happiest of people dream for something better. Jordan Ettinger's life is just that one step up for me. From what I can see from an outside observers point of view that is. Maybe I'm only loving what he presents to the world. Maybe the inside scoop is a whole different story. Maybe I'll will be trapping myself in 24 hours of hidden torture?! This question has many angles. Because along with me living his life for a day, he will at the same time, be living mine. And I'm not totally sure how fond I am of a acquaintance being opened up to all that is Jennine Baughman. That would be a scary situation. So maybe if this question was who's talents would you like to inherit for a day, maybe then I would say Jordan. but now that I really look into this question, I think I can safely say, I would like to be me, forever and for always and keep my life, my own.

Six down, and a life time to go.

One of my very favorite feelings in the whole world is when I am able to check something off of my "100 Things to do Before I Die" list =] It feels AWESOME to know that I am living my life in a way that I am happy with. If you haven't made yourself one of these lists, I strongly suggest you do so.

Day 3 --- Someone you wish would forgive you

DANIEL REAMAN

This guy was absolutely one of the most entertaining people to have around. He always makes you laugh even when it's the last thing you want to do. I had the opportunity, short lived as it was, to become good friends with him. But he's one of those people who does their own thing, goes their own way, and does what they want, when they want, even if it sometimes means leaving people in the dust. Sometime, more often than not, this would lead him to cancel plans, letting you know last minute, or not letting you know at all and just letting you wait around for nothing. As you can probably imagine, this got to be very frustrating. And one night, after yet again another one of his bailing-without-warning stunts, my drunken mind got the better of me and I sent him a probably quite unnecessarily over the top angry message about how much it upset me. The next day I apologized for sending it but I guess it hit him harder than I expected it to and he never replied. I tried a few times over the next long while to apologize and set things right, but he wanted nothing to do with that. And still to this day he hasn't spoken a word to me. I'm not one who regrets much, but that is one thing I forever will. I promised myself and my readers in a post awhile back that that would be the last time I mentioned it and that I was going to forget it. He wants what he wants and I can't change that. But this thirty day challenge of course is bringing it up. So there you have it. Dan, please forgive me. I really really am sorry, and I miss you and all your goofiness.

Day 2 --- Your first crush

MITCHELL TAYLOR

I'm pretty sure he was every girl in my entire elementary school's first crush. But what can you do =]. The thing about him is, he stayed sweet. Most of the time, the boy that all the girls like in elementary school lets all the admiration go to his head and by the time high school rolls around, he's a complete jerk. But he stayed sweet. He was always a gentleman, always polite, caring, selfless, all through high school. And that's says something about a person. When you can hold onto all your values that you had during your first day of school, and graduate your last day with the same set of morals. True integrity.

Day 1 --- Your Best Friend

KELSIE RAE BAKKER

This girly is by far my favorite part about life. We didn't meet each other until April of grade ten (2008) and it wasn't till that summer that we really started to hang out. But by July, we knew we were best friends. and not just one of those best friends for the year things. I knew this was going to be the girl that stuck with me through the rest of high school, and I KNEW she'd be the one best friend I wouldn't lose touch with after graduation. She has been there for me through everything. She know things about me that even I don't know. She's that one friend that you can tell something terrible to and you know she won't change he mind about you. She has shown me how to let loose and be confident, she has shown me religion and the ways it can help you in tough times, and she has shown me what a real best friend is. Don't get me wrong, we still fight. We still disagree on things and yell at each other, but we can fight, and then go to a movie together an hour later. She is the one person I feel absolutely completely comfortable with to be completely and fully my self. We can be wild and goofy with each other. It doesn't matter what we do, we always have fun. Even when we shouldn't be. I honestly have no clue what would happen if I lost her. I would we lost myself. If I hadn't met her when I did, I don't think I would be in a point in my life yet that I'm happy with. Right now, I am completely happy with who I have become and what I've done with myself. And I think a big part of that goes to her, and how she has helped me grow and so, so many different ways. Throughout the years I have had a number of best friends, and they are all still important to me, but she is the one that I have been the closest to, and the one that would kill me the most to ever drift away from. And I truly believe she will still be there beside me on my 80th birthday to take a shot of tequila.
I love you Kelsie Rae Bakker! You are my best friend, and I hope that never ever changes.

P.S. This is for Friday cause I got lazy and didn't post yesterday.

Thirty Day Challenge.

I have seen a lot of people do this on Facebook lately.

Facebook is not a place that feels fitting for this kind of challenge.

A blog, however, is the perfect location!

So, starting tomorrow, or later today technically, I will be posting my daily post =]

I am looking very forward to it!

I looked around for some different challenges and the one I came across was PERFECT.

It's all about the people in your life, which in all honestly is 99 percent what my blog is based on.

So instead of answering questions about myself, I will be telling you about specific people who I have encountered in my past 19 years =]

I hope you enjoy this as much as I will!

Certain people do nothing but make me smile =]

I am fortunate enough to have a couple on these people in my life. A handful of people who have never made me any thing but full of joy =] And are always there when I need them. With out needing to ask. Even if I just need them for a grin. If you have them in you life, these are the people you need to hang onto. Even if you aren't super close. These are the people with hearts worth loving.

My growing list

When I round the corner all I see,

Is all the places I haven't been.

I've got the traveling bug. While I was in Hawaii, we went to the Polynesian centre and it talked about all the other Polynesian countries, they are all pretty different and very interesting. There were also lots of people from all around the world and talk of different cultures and everything seemed exciting and like something I'd like to see one day. It seems that every time I check one place of my list, it adds about five more! Maybe I'll become a travel agent. Then I can get paid to travel and come home and tell people what is good and what is bad. I pretty much already do that! I just don't have my own desk.

Great news!!

Yesterday when I got home, my mom told me we were getting a bird. I cried. I have always wanted a bird!!! It's a cockatiel. They can be taught to talk and mimic things. This one was my cousins but she can't have it where she's living now. It's only a baby, so it can't talk yet but he copies the phone and your whistle. I'm very excited. We get it on the fourteenth of December after my parents get back from their Caribbean cruise! This next month is going to be the longest of my life! Shawn comes down from Lac La Biche on the 15th after exams so I was already dreading the long wait but now I have TWO thing to wait for! I hate waiting. =(

P.S. Coming home from a vacation and still having to wait a month to see your boy blows =(.
Miss you xx

Hawaii in a nut shell

So, I apologize immensely for completely and utterly slacking on my blog posts every day!! It just seemed silly to spend that much time in the morning writing a post when I'd rather be out enjoying Hawaii. And by the time night crawled around, I was more than tired and a only had enough energy left in me to check facebook and reply to messages. But I will fill you in now on all on our adventures!

Wednesday the tenth - We spent the first half of the day on the beach. Gnorman, (My travel Gnome, in case you didn't meet him from my Vegas posts) tagged along and managed to get a hot date with Barbie! They shared a beach towel for a bit and soaked up some sun together. Meanwhile, me and Kelsie found a puffer fish! We scooped him up in a bucket and took a few pictures. I even yelled BOO! at him, but he didn't get scared and didn't want to puff for us, so we let him go. We wandered down the main strip and checked out some other hotels and markets, and then we stumbled across the Ala Mohana mall. Neither of us were in a shopping mood though so we just browsed for a bit then took the bus home. It was one of those awesome accordion buses!! I have never been on one of those! We sat right in the middle in the accordion section =] That night was also the Senor Frogs party. Most bars allow 18 plus, so we could still go to all the bars and clubs, we just couldn't drink. Which was fine by us! We met a couple guys who were in the military and stationed in Hawaii so we talked to them for a while and then we all went and hung out in the foam pit for a while, which was SO fun! If you've never been to a foam party then I highly suggest you add it to your to do list!!

Thursday the eleventh - Most of this day we spent on the beach, until I got a little rosy on my shoulders and chest. I guess that's what happens when you fall asleep in the sun. We spent the rest of the evening doing some shopping and watching the street performers.

Friday the twelfth - This was the day we went surfing!!! =D I absolutely, totally and completely am in love with surfing!!! I could do this every single day of my life!!! It's a very painful sport. We went to an area that wasn't very deep because it was surrounded by a reef. It was a great spot to learn to surf, because the reef made perfect waves and the shallow water kept them simple, great for learning, but inside the reef, right below the shallow water was jagged volcano rock, covering the ocean floor so when you fell, your knees and ankles scraped up against it and cut you up like no tomorrow. And paddling back out after riding the wave in was a lot of effort and tough on the muscles right behind your shoulders unless you are used to laying on a board and paddling through the water against the waves. But even with all that, surfing was more than worth it.

Saturday the thirteenth - We did some more shopping and a bit of time on the beach, but that evening was that fun part. We went on a pub crawl to five different bars in Waikiki. Again, we were still underage so we couldn't drink but we still had fun. When we first got there we met two kids from Alaska who were visiting Hawaii for a bit, and later on we met two more military boys named Matt and Dakota stationed in Hawaii. We spent the rest of the crawl with them, they were a lot of fun and danced stupid with us and took crazy pictures and all in all made it a good time, by the time we got to the second last bar though me and Kelsie were tired and that bar sucked so we sat outside till the group went to the next bar, but by that time we had lost Matt and Dakota, so we just called it a night and took off early. But it was still a fun time.

Sunday the fourteenth - Tuesday, we walked down to Senor Frogs. It's a fun little restaurant that every once in a while they turn into a bar for the night and throw a party, this is what we attended on Wednesday night, but the first time we went there we were in the gift shop and we talked to the cashier (Corey) and asked him what there was to do in Waikiki during the day, because we were sick of walking up and down the strip already by the second day. He said well actually, mostly you'll what to get out of Waikiki. We told him we didn't have a vehicle and weren't familiar with anything around the island. That's when he told us about Your Way Adventures. He did day tours where you payed 150 for a full day of whatever you wanted to do. And Sunday was the day we booked him for. So he took us up to North Shore, away from the big touristy areas. We drove around and looked at all the really pretty, uncrowded beaches and saw some HUGE waves! The kind that the pro surfers ride. One of the beaches was were the Pipe Masters competition takes place. Then he took us up to the volcano and we hiked up a bit of that to a pretty little waterfall site. Me and Kels went in and took some pictures with his water proof camera. Right as we were about to start the hike back down my flip flop broke so I walked down most of the way bare foot which was fine cause it was mostly just mud but then we got closer to the bottom and the mud stopped and the shale like rocks began. This is where Kelsie started piggy backing me. Good thing she has leg muscles like a champ! We learned that there is not a single snake on the Hawaiian islands which baffles me, but what they do have, and this we found out when they ran across the path in front of us is wild roosters!!!
After the hike we went to a look out point closer to the top of the volcano that over looked all of Waikiki Beach. t was a really nice view. Then Corey drove us to the local swap meet, which was like a farmers market. I bought some fresh Hawaiian fruit. Most of it I had never tried before but it was all pretty good! Then we went for lunch and on the way stopped at the Dole plantation which was pretty boring. We burned to a crisp waiting for our food in the outside restaurant. After that we went to turtle bay, where the sea turtles like to crawl up onto the beach and soak up some sun, there were five of them there that day. They are SO huge, but super cute =] We tried to snorkel at that beach but the waves were too big and just thrashed you against the rocks and stirred up the water so we headed down a bit more and found Shark's Cove. No sharks but the area was surrounded by a high reef so the waves didn't come in and the cove was very calm and filled with life! We saw lots of cool fish and some crabs and sea urchins and lots of really pretty coral. It's awesome seeing things from that point of view. After that we headed back home. The drive back was really pretty. The north side of the island gets most of the rain so the vegetation is really thick up there and it's just like a jungle of tropical plants. That side of the island is also where like a zillion movies are filmed like Forgetting Sarah Marshal, 50 First Dates, Lost and Jurassic Park, just to name a few. All in all that day was my favorite. And again, WELL worth the money.

Monday the fifteenth -This was Kelsie's birthday. We spent it at the Polynesian center which was really cool. It was like a huge place made up of different villages each representing one of the Polynesian islands. They did lots of demonstrations of how they used to live and one guy climbed a coconut tree and pick, husked, cracked strained and cleaned out a coconut shell. Really cool. We learned how to do the hula and the fast hip shake dance and we road a traditional canoe. They ended it off with a luau and dance entertainment while you ate and then a show after wards called Ha Breath Of Life which was AWESOME!! They did traditional dances throughout and fire dances where they would literally dance IN the flames of the fire. And lots of cool tricks with fire. Really cool.

Tuesday was our last day. We had a ride on the Screamer booked, which is like a roller coaster boat in the water but it got cancelled so we spent the day doing some last minute shopping. Our plane ride was at 830. Our seats were in the middle at the VERY back of the airplane, and we sat beside another military guy. He was also 20, (same as all the other military guys we met). He was a lot of fun and made the 7 and a half hour plane ride go by fast. He was going home for a funeral, but said we were the best way to get his mind off of it. By far one of the most enjoyable plane ride I have been on yet. We landed in Dallas Texas and had a two hour layover, which I slept 99 percent of. Then our 4 hour ride back to Calgary,which I also slept through. Kyle (Kelsie's boyfriend) and our friend Jesse picked us up at the airport and then made us spend another couple hours in the Cross Iron Mills mall. Cruel if you ask me, all we wanted to do was go home. By this time it was about 530 pm and Wednesday. I slept again then entire way from Calgary to home.

The trip was awesome and I can see myself living there someday, but I was definitely ready to be home =]

Official day two!

Good morning!

Technically it's day three but we aren't counting it cause it was pretty much dark by the time we got to our hotel from the airport. We are making daily videos too. Or bidaily, or three or four or five a day, so you won't be lacking on how our days go.

Yesterday, I don't remember if I mentioned this, but there was a ma sitting outside spraying the trees, sidewalk and passing by people with lysol! Nutso.

I have grown quite fond of starting my day with a tall iced Starbucks coffee with one sugar and probably the equivalents of twelve creams. Not so healthy but it takes away the bitter =] any ways we REALLY want some beach time since we didn't do any sun tanning yesterday. I'll give you the deets of the day later tonight =]

Aloha! xx

P.S. Our word of yesterday was Ohana. (Family)
And our monday word was Mahalo (Thank you).
Mahalo is still my favorite! I love the Hawaiian language! It's so pretty.

Mahalo (thank you) for Starbucks!

Aloha, and good morning!

We have a Starbucks RIGHT beside out hotel with, of course, free Wi Fi. A nice way to start and end the day. It's a funny little place, of the 17 people here, two of them are not on the internet. The sun sets early here so it's an awesome place to hang out before we call it a night.

Here's one, I like to do this one when I'm chillin at home alone, two balls one hand.
Last night we set out to find a nice little sit down restaurant. Instead, we sat and watched a 35 minute street performer. He was quite funny and VERY good at what he did. He did basketball tricks. Not like magic tricks, but like ball handling tricks. He was entertaining for sure, but this caused us to find Subway as out "sit down restaurant due to time and hungry tummies.

I came across this awesome little shoppe! I spend about 100 dollars in it, but everything was so cool and so cheap! and I managed to get half of the things that I needed to come home with so I think it was a pretty successful night for shopping!

But, I think I'm going to enjoy my free daily Starbucks breakfast right now, and then head to the beach, which we haven't been on yet!!

Aloha all, xx

Well.

Have I every mentioned how much I LOVE flying?! I truly do love it. A seven hour plane ride is pushing it a bit but the take off, landing and turbulence all make it worth while.

After about an hour bus ride stopping at 20ish sketchy hotels, we arrived at ours, which was no exception. It's gross. Not a wonderful start to out trip but what can we do? I guess it just means we will be spending NO time in there and more time enjoying beautiful Hawaii!!

More later =]
♥

Done You Wrong - Aaron Pritchett

Here we are again and you sure look fine
you smile at me and the sparks just fly
I can't understand why this is taking so long
somebody must have really done you wrong

*

I wanna tear down, the walls that you built up.

=D

Oh life, how you make me smile. Thank you for being so wonderful!**

In approximately 50 hours..

I'll be toes in the water, ass in the sand, not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand. And life will be good that day.

*

=] Looking forward to meeting you Hawaii.

I don't like broken hearts.

I myself am not broken hearted. I'm still thoroughly happy.
Alas, not everyone in my life feels the same.
So tell me, If we have the technology and education to put stabilizing rods in peoples arms, screws in their feet, and steel caps on their knees and hips, WHY can we not encase our hearts with diamonds?
I think it would save the world a lot of sorrow.
Just sayin.

Ten reasons why I am grateful for true friends.

One•They are happy with whatever brings you joy. Even if that which brings you joy, brings them pain.
Two•They are ALWAYS there when you need them to be, for whatever you need them to be there for.
Three•You can always feel the warmth of their hug, even from across the world.
Four•They don't need you to say a single word in order to know what you are trying to say. They just know.
Five•They can tell you things about yourself that would never be realized otherwise.
Six•They never judge you. Even if they know the truth, they see you for who you are, and not what you have done.
Seven•They know the truth by observing, not by listening.
Eight•They will do anything to keep you smiling.
Nine•Your memories are their memories, even if they were not present at the time the memory was made.
Ten•They will not kill you for getting mascara on their favorite shirt when they provide their shoulder.
.

♥TB♥AS♥KB♥

Counting down the days till 07/25/2011.

You know it's a true friend when you can feel their hug from all the way across the world.

I miss you Aaron♥♥

Kids sure do pick up on things fast!!

"Daddy go to work, make monies. Mommy stays home."
This was what Erica, my little neighbour who just turned two, said to her dad when he stayed home sick and mommy went out to do errands.

I believe that the blind were given a gift. To see with the heart, and not with the eyes.

If you were told that the sun rises everyday just to see your beautiful smile, would you let the world down for your sorrows?

Your smile lights up my world, don't let me live in the dark.

I will wait forever for the day you make up your mind. And until that day, I will be as loyal to you as I would be if you were mine and mine alone.

I would never let him go. If only I could call him mine.

That is something I have never been able to say honestly before. But he feels right to me. For the very first time ever, I feel like someone fits into every nook and cranny of my needs perfectly. I don't think he knows how whole he makes me feel, and I don't think he will ever believe that I will never EVER hurt him like she did. Before him, I would never believe myself if I had said that either. And I hate her for hurting him. Even if it meant giving him up forever, I would trade it for her loving him unconditionally so that he did not have to feel what heart broken feels like. No one should have to. I hate her for teaching him that letting his guard down only leads to getting hurt. Because sometimes, it doesn't have to be true. He's sworn it won't happen again. He will never let his guard down again and never allow himself to fall so hard. And for me, that means I'll be getting hurt. I would never tell him this, but the pain that comes with knowing you aren't quite special enough to risk another heartbreak, is just as bad as being heart broken.

I just can't get over how cute-as-a-button you are!

-What are you being for halloween?

-A bumble bee =]

-Can I be your honey?

***

Sounds scripted and family channel movie like.

Fortunately for me he's real =]

I wished on a star for you.

Fresh Linkin Park, very fresh.

Top tens!

.

Things I love right now:

.

♥Filming random moments of my life

♥Cuddling

♥My job at the hospital

♥'Speak Now'

♥Arizona iced tea

♥Glow in the dark

♥Closet organizers

♥Vacation hours

♥Baths

♥And as always, The Beatles

.

Things I hate right now:

.
!#Lac La Biche
!#Australia
!#Laundry
!#Spider invasions
!#Below zero temperatures
!#Car accidents
!#Plan changes
!#Waiting
!#Expectations
!#Time frames
.
Thing I am excited about in the next year:
.
♦Halloween weekend
♦Hawaii trip
♦Kelsie's 19th
♦Josh coming to visit
♦Christmas and just after
♦End of college school year
♦My 20th
♦BVJ
♦Aaron's return
♦Cali road trip

Oh and by the way

Taylor Swift's new Cd is as adorably heart warming as she is =]

And the Rocky Horror Picture Show Glee episode was probably my favorite yet. (This may be a bit biased because The Rocky Horror Picture Show is one of my all time favorites.)

Oh boys.

Even though I continue to think he's absolutely fantastic and the best yet, I still wish guys came with manuals. Even if I never read instructions, at least I would know that there is SOME rhyme or reason to why males act the way they do.

Oh goody!!

Tomorrow is Friday and the start of Halloween weekend!!!
Probably nothing can compare to last years Halloween, but this year should be rather fantastic.

Last years Halloween consisted of:

•House party with way too many people (the more the merrier =D) and a DJ

•Calling Kelsie's long-term-relationship-that-ended-badly ex, (who was dressed as Edward Cullen) a sparkly piece of shit, and locking him on the back porch.

•Coming back to the party after a short trip to a brutally packed Lotus to be attacked by Kelsie (who did not come to the bar because she was still underage) yelling "Jennine, Jennine, I'm SO glad you're back!!!! They soaked the cat in alcohol and tried to light it on fire!!! (They did not. The cat was a tad damp because someone spilled their water bottle. That was what a drunken Kelsie morphed the story into.)

•Kelsie's first case of alcohol poisoning, where she was throwing up in the bathroom, and Michaud (mentioned in previous posts) barged in and locked us in, then drunkenly called Kelsie's father and told him Kelsie had gonorrhea and needed to be picked up IMMEDIATELY!!!! Ending with an, I love you father! (I called him back and corrected that all)

But this year will consist of two parties with great friends, SUPER cute costumes that we spent forever making, an entire weekend with my long distance not-quite-boyfriend. =] (Who I still think is absolutely wonderful), and a goal by Kelsie to not throw up, and not spread rumors of animal cruelty. Plus a trip to the probably yet again brutally packed full Lotus.

Cont...

Alrighty, so about Whitecourt. This is the happenings.

My best girly has a man. He works on the rigs. This stretch was based at Whitecourt (which is located in the middle of no where, FYI). Me and Miss Kelsie Rae headed up there to stay a night, just so she could see him for a bit since he's gone three weeks at a time, and then we would leave the next morning. This plan failed. Just as we were on the highway going into Whitecourt, the doughhead driving in front of us stopped his car on the highway, we swerved into the ditch going 120, and then out, where Kelsie lost control of her car and cut in front of stupidhead, and spun a couple of times across the other lane. Then we scrapped across the median for a bit and finally the car stopped half on the median, half sticking out into traffic. Surprisingly enough, we didn't roll into the ditch, we didn't drive right over the median and into the other lanes, we didn't hit anyone and no one hit us, as we drove across the highway and skidded the wrong way down the road. This SHOULD have been a very serious accident with everything that happened and being on a trucking/rig road with normally very heavy traffic and big ol semis, but we managed to get very, very lucky. We drove down the highway a bit till we found a safe spot to pull in, which luckily was RIGHT outside of our hotel. The whole time smoking like a chimney and making a horrid noise. Once we got out and looked at the car, we knew we weren't leaving Whitecourt the next morning. So we checked in and waited till Kyle was off work. The first thing he asked when he saw the car was HOW did you drive that off the highway?! And so the adventures began. The next morning we woke up and looked in the Whitecourt "phonebook" which in any other place on earth would be labeled a directory to everything rigs. The index at the front read "Auto services and repairs.-See 'Trucks'. After flipping through oodles of yellow pages on rig machinery, and about twenty full pages titled trucks we finally found a few listing for repair shops. Unfortunately, these were located in Red Deer, Calgary, Edmonton and Regina sask. The closest being approximately two hours away, and with a immobile automobile, about 17 bazillion hours of walking. So we riffled through the desk drawer and found a local listings book that consisted of about thirty pages worth of names and businesses compared to our home phonebooks that are roughly the size of a large dictionary. We skimmed through and finally found a shop that didn't require your repair to be oil rig equipment related. We silently thanked the founders of OkTire and called them up. Low and behold, they were too busy to even look at the car, and said if we wanted to pay a tow, we could bring it in and they could possibly do a quick inspection, if they found a few extra minutes. This is when we went down stairs to the hotel lobby and booked our room for a second night, there was no way we would be out by the three o'clock check out time. Kels texted Kyle and he said he'd call around and see what he could do. So, we were stranded in Whitecourt for the day with nothing to do, no one but ourselves and no vehicle. We heard that there was a mall so we set out for that. Then finally something worked out for us and we actually FOUND it!! Too bad it was a strip mall that consisted of an IGA, a Bargain Center, and a cute little recreation bar with darts, a lounge, and a pool table. And also required ID which we left at the hotel. So we bought some lunch at IGA. A cup of cut watermelon, a cup of grapes, a brick of marble cheese and a litre of chocolate milk. Then we hunted around the bargain center, finding nothing of interest except another plastic grocery bag to switch out the IGA one because the watermelon cup popped open spilling all of our watermelon and it's juices all over the bag making everything sticky and our cheese watermelon flavoured. We wandered around Whitecourt for another hour or so and came upon ol Wal-Mart!! Here we figured we'd feel at home, only it ended up being a dinky little thing that smelled stale and had concrete floors painted grey like floors in the back garbage room of a grocery store. Beauty. But beggars can't be choosers so we bought how to train your dragon, a deck of cards, and Terry's chocolate oranges. The hike back home was a little more amusing, we found this wonderful little fabric coat hanger woman with no head and a very scandalous out fit, laying in the ditch, so we posed with it for a couple pictures, then hung it in a tree for passing by trucker who haven't seen a female in weeks and are in need of some eye candy to glance upon. This was the highlight of out day. Finally we got back to the hotel after being chilled to the bone and getting a tad lost and having to do a wee bit of back tracking. The hotel lobby had a vending machine with bags of microwave popcorn, so we bought a bag of that and settles into our cozy warm beds and watched How To Train Your Dragon. (P.S. I want a Night Furry). Anyways we filled the rest of our with endless games of war, speed, and crazy eights, and a bit of Terry's chocolate orange catch. Once the orange hit the wall a couple times, resulting in the same effect as 'whacking' your Terry's chocolate orange does, it became rather difficult to toss and catch. And thinking that hitting it hard enough to have a tub fall through the ceiling in a rig workers hotel probably wouldn't be quite as satisfying as it is on the commercials, even if we are straight females, we looked around for other tossable objects. Deciding against the flower vase, TV, desk, and fireplace, we found nothing. So we turned on the TV and flipped through the channels till we found a So You Think You Can Dance Canada re-run, and watched that, then Much Video on Trial, (this episode containing not ONE single song we had heard of) until Kyle got off. Somewhere in the Television viewing we got a call from Kyle saying that his father was going to drive the three and a half hours to Whitecourt with a flatbed to pick up Kelsie, me AND her poor broken car!!! We didn't have to spend the extra night after all! We did however, still have to pay for it. So after a nummy supper at BP's and a short struggle on the men's end to load and strap the gibblemobile, we were finally on the way back to our own, lovely, fully populated and activity seeking teenager friendly, city. =] The remainder up this trip consisted of a bunch of thank yous, one pee/fuel break, and a long nap until, I finally crawled into my own bed at 2:30 am. The end.

Oh and by the way, in case you're interested. The official rules to rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock are as followed.

Scissors cuts Paper, Paper covers Rock, Rock crushes Lizard, Lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes Scissors, Scissors decapitates Lizard, Lizard eats Paper, Paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes Rock, Rock crushes Scissors.

Just one more thing we did to eat up some time.

A place so lacking in excitement, that even excitement would be boring.

Whitecourt.
Not an happening place.
It's a rig town, and no matter how many times you tell me it's not actually that unpopulated of a place, it will always be a rig town. NOT a place you want to get stranded.
So guess what happened to me and Kelsie?
We got stranded. In Whitecourt.

It does get more thrilling though. but I'm going to leave you to wait on this one a bit cause I'm tired and don't feel like explaining this story tonight.

I don't care how many fish there are in the sea, I've picked out the one I want and no others will do.

Remember how I said I wasn't going to settle for anyone anymore and I was going to wait till the right person came along?
Well I found him =]

He's funny, cute, outgoing, silly, random, sweet, cute as a button, absolutely everything I want.

He's the very first guy I've ever been with that I feel is RIGHT.
With everyone else there was at least one thing holding me back. Something that made me feel a little bit reluctant. I have never been completely happy with someone. Until now. It's a weird feeling to feel SO much dedication. This probably sounds a lot like a middle schooler, but a month ago, if I had seen a cute guy walking by, or had a convo with some really charismatic, friendly guy, I would probably think to myself, "dang he's cute, I wish I had him." But now, when I see cute guys the first thing that I think of is, "Meh, mine is more perfect. =]" And it's very satisfying that even head turning worthy guys don't really interest me enough for a second look.
I'm more than happy with the one I have and we aren't even really dating yet! But it doesn't matter to me, I feel so lucky and undeserving that even whatever the heck we are right now is fine by me.
The only bad thing about him is that he is going to school four hours away, and hockey usually fills his weekends. But still. I don't mind waiting till the end of the week =]

Sorry world, I don't usually blab this much about suck silly, things, but for once, I feel like this needs to be blabbed. Even if it's just for me to come back and re read in a month.

Be a star.

A star is a beautiful speckle of light placed high and the sky for every single soul on the earth to view and appreciate. It's light can be seen from farther away than we can even imagine, so far that even after the star dies, we can still see it's beautiful light for billions of years. So in order to be a star, you do not have to be a famous actor or singer or super model, you just have to do one little thing that will stick with even just one person. A small deed that will stay with them even once you've passed on.

up to date.

Usually during this time of year I start to feel down. The cooling weather and end to summer puts me in a down mood while I'm getting used to it but this year seems to be different. Maybe it's because we didn't really have much of summer so the transition to fall isn't so drastic.. actually the fall weather is nicer than summer was. But even with weather aside, I'm just all-round happy! I have so many awesome things to look forward to that everyday I wake up excited and looking forward to life.

Also, I've slowly been falling in love with hard rock. I've always been into soft rock, the classics of course like Cars, CCR, Kim Mitchell, Dire Straits, Loverboy, I could go on forever, but lately I've been craving the rougher stuff, like Kiss and Metallica. Weird. Cause I'm not rough edge like that at all! I mean I also love country, and the Beatles!!

Remember how I said I wasn't posting my upcoming trip plans until I knew for sure they were happening?

Well..

I'm going to Hawaii!!

The trip is completely booked, it's actually two of the same Contiki tour back to back. So two trips with one airfare. It's an unguided tour, so most of it is free time. The second day we have a choice between a tour of Pearl Harbour or a day of surf lessons, included in the trip price. But since we are doing the trip twice, we can do both, one in the first set and one in the second. We leave the 8th of November and return on the 16th. Sunshine, and ocean waves here I come!!

Maybe 204 is pushing it, but..

I half expected to log onto blogger and find 204 comments from Trevor. Slightly let down.

=] =] =]

Life is beginning to smile at me again

=]

I see lessons coming up in my near future.

Three things I really love doing but suck immensely at

One•Singing.

Two•Playing pool.

Three•Two-stepping.

But I will continue to do them all with pride =]

If things work out for me then I promise I will listen to my heart, mind and soul more often. If not, I am muting myself forever.

Two things.

A) I felt true jealousy today. Right down to my core. I could honestly feel it in my bones, like a shock hit me and zapped right through. It was a new form of pain to me. I think it's my heart trying to tell me something.

B) I gave in. Number one, four posts back fell through. I had a dream last night that things finally worked out and I was a happy camper again cause I had my friend back. But I woke up to the false reality of life and I had to try one more time to fix it, because that one was my subconscious trying to tell my something.

I think I'm growing up.

I have lately felt the need to de-clutter my room. I am sick of it looking the way it does, even when it's clean. I bought these hanging closet organizers and I re-did that, and now I'm moving on to the rest of my room, hanging pictures and getting rid of crap, putting things away that don't need to be displayed anymore. Yesterday I was in Wal-Mart and I saw a really cute little chair and I mention to my mother that I liked it and thought it would be cute in my room. Earlier that day I told her how I would like my own desk in the office to do my art work on so that I can have one room to do that in and keep it out of my room. She said to me, "I think you're ready to move out." Very seriously and very proudly. I think it's the first time she's ever felt it's true. And although it is very nice to hear and makes me feel mature and grown up, it still makes me sad because most of me never wants to grow old and move forward. I enjoy my youth and I know that every passing day is carrying me further away from it. Someday I'll be sitting, rocking my grandbaby and I will wonder where the years went. And I couldn't beg enough to keep that day away. I'll appreciate it when it arrives and I know I'll look down at that beautiful life and think to myself that there is no where else I'd rather be, but for the time being, I would rather reverse time then advance.

I was looking back at my older posts and I stumbled across one of my favorite comments ever. I posted a line from a song I adore. It was "Another beautiful day embracing me." And the posted comment said, "Every beautiful day embraces you."

Warm feelings fill me =] Thank you "Anonymous"

♥♥

Fact 5: I'm an originals girl. Whoever did it first did it best, in my books.

Is it just me or does the music video for "If I Had You" by Adam Lambert look a HECK of a lot like MGMT's "Electric Feel"?

Shucks, it's too bad MGMT is so much better..

P.S. I feel the same about all those out there who take perfectly lovely 70's and 80's rock songs, steel the chorus and rap around it. Yuck. It was a hit song for a reason. Cause it was phenomenal just the way it was! If any current rappers ever messes with a Beatles song I will boycott them.

My life needs changing.

I feel the need to break out and change my life style. laze less, live more, be who I am.

I have 3 things that have been muchly on my mind lately.

One) You-know-who is still causing a void in my life, still not talking. I have for once and for all decided to forget it. I am going to accept it. Everything happens for a reason right? I must be better off without having him as a friend, if he's supposed to be in my life, he'll come around.
Two) I'm tired of being single. It was fun and I really enjoyed being carefree and independent for this past little while but I'm ready to settle down again. But I also really want to wait for that perfect someone this time and not settle, so even though I want a boy, I'm going to hold out for the right one.
Three) I need to do something drastic. I feel like this summer was too.. safe. I want a bit of excitement that brings a real rush, and soon. I'm getting very restless.

P.S.

ConnorBramwell•TrevorBidyk•BrentonChung•KelsieBakker:

Thank you for being in my life =]

♥♥

And again.

I think I'm taking another blogging break.
I will leave you with a little bit of info.

1) I am looking VERY forward to Brenton's 18th!!! - On the 18th of September, a gong show will go down. And it will be a very memorable night that most of the attendees probably won't remember.
2) I am extremely sad that someone whom of which I really enjoyed spending time with still has not talked to me. -I am calling it quits my friends, it sucks and I would give almost anything to turn it around, but this someone obviously has made up their mind, so I will leave them be with their choice and step back.
3) My travel situation has, once again, changed. - I'm not even going to bother posting what's happening now until I myself know for sure.
And 4) My mind is streaming with bucket loads of creativity, but my motivation is taking it easy for a while. - Nothing new had managed to make it out of my head and into the real world. Hence, this break.

See you all soon, except that I'm almost positive that even my one and only loyal reader has finally found something else to do other than sit and read my life's ramblings.

I have discovered the joys of being out going, carefree, and confident!

Not that I wasn't all of these things before, I just didn't put them to use at Billy Bob's, which, for anyone who doesn't know, is a local country bar, more of a pub with a small dance floor, not like a night club. I never used to enjoy it, I actually used to hate it. I didn't know how to two-step, and I'm not a cowgirl and I just sat there and looked angry 99 percent of the evening. This does not equal an enjoyable time. But the other night, me and my Best girly Kelsie went out to Billy's with our friend Sara. We didn't want to be there, we wanted to go to Lotus (an overly crowded night club, where we feel more at home.) Sara said we could leave as soon as we danced with 4 different guys between the two of us. Anything to get out of Billy's we thought! So we hunted down some boys. But once we set out looking for partners and got on the floor we actually started to enjoy our selves, and our two guys each turned into three and then 4 and pretty soon we didn't want to leave at all! We stayed till close and had a wonderful time! Last night we went to Billy's again and actually danced and once again enjoyed ourselves, and we discovered that it really doesn't matter if you know how to two step because neither do 75 percent of the people there!

I remember when I was in school and our Careers and life management teachers were telling us about confidence and how if we pretended we loved ourselves and walked tall that eventually we would trick our minds and we would slowly become confident for real. Well it works the same way with having fun! If you pretend you are having an amazing time even if you just want to get the heck out of the country bar, people see that and react positively, and at some point you realize that the pretending stopped and you really ARE having a good time!
Hard to believe that I actually learned something important in school!

Lesson learned.

Today I was in walmart and I saw one of those handy little nail polish pens and I thought I would test it out and see if they worked. So I sneakily opened up the box to try out the pen. But when I popped the lid off to give it a whorl it exploded ALL OVER my hands!! So much for sneaky. They were also conveniently out of nail polish remover.

You make me sad.

Gah! I just keep sitting here WAITING for something to happen! Something to change. I know your are most likely in bed, and that chances are even if you weren't you would still go one ignoring me and forgetting I exist but I miss you =( And I wish you would stop this whole silly thing! I'm sorry, I was wrong, you were right, I miss you, I hate this, I give up, you win, whatever you want me to say to get you to stop I will!! Cause honestly, I can let go of a lot of people, but you are not one of them. Knowing that you may never talk to me again is killing me. It's constantly on my mind and I check facebook and my cell every 5 minutes to see if there's anything from you, anything showing that you're giving in, anything! But there never is and I can't stop thinking about how much it sucks. =(
imissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouim
issyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimiss
youimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyo
uimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyou♥

Boys WILL BE boys!

My step father does fracking. Don't ask me what it is, it's complicated and I don't really know, it involves driving big trucks and doing work on the rigs and such.

Anyways, he was home tonight and he was telling the family something about his fracking.
My little innocent 14 year old brother cleverly says, "You fracking trucker!"
I guess even little goody goods boys are still boys.
It was a good chuckle, and very unexpected.

I'm mad at Trevor Bidyk.

Well not so much mad as disappointed.
And not so much at Trevor as at the scheduling staff of DTHR Food Services.

But, ob-la-di ob-la-da, life goes on.

I miss you =(
Now that you have your satisfaction will you please call this whole silly thing off?

This started off as a full length post but only one line really felt like it needed to be shared.

Growing older is a painful reality, and part of growing older is to let go. This is not one of my strengths, more so a weakness.

Dr, can you see what's wrong?

I've shown you more than I wanted you to see,
I've told you things I never wanted to share.
I've asked for your help when no one else was there to plead to.
I have weaved you into my life in a way that I never expected to.
I have looked past all of your flaws and helped you to embrace you strengths.
I've let you in in a way that I have not allowed many.
But you have not recognized this and you don't seem to appreciate.
You take my simplest mistakes and you expand them to unforgivable measures.
I am not going to be the first to give in. Not this time.
If this is all you have to give back to me then I will unwind you from my life.
You have returned nothing to me. And I am starting to see this.
***
I guess you need no one.
Is anyone waiting at home for you?

Once again I bring you...

Front of my shoulder. About 4 inches long, in closer to my neck than my shoulder so that my bra strap isn't sitting on it. The birds will fade over to my shoulder though. I want to move the birds up a bit higher and make it thinner, not so thick and dark. I'll probably draw it out myself. Planning for the end of September.

You and all your greatness. Gerr.

I hate crushes.
Crushes make you over think everything.
They make you paranoid and also thrilled, usually over something that's not worth all the trouble.
They make you instantly feel a connection to every song you hear, in some ridiculous way.
They make you feel like a ten year old when that one boy puts his shoes beside yours in the boot room and your heart sinks into a puddle of marshmallows and cotton candy.
They make you worry that everything you do may be the wrong move,
and some how they make all this hullabaloo worth it.
Stupid.
But I've fallen into this trap again.
Too bad I haven't gotten to that "it's all worth it" point yet.
I'm still stuck at the "why do I bother with you" part of it.

I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why?

I'm in and out I'm up and down

Wonder if I'm lost or found

But I need your hands on me now

*

But you don't need my pictures on your wall

You say you need no one

And you don't need my secret midnight call

I guess you need no one

~Train

Well I guess that may have turned out to be a bad move on my part, but if this is how you are going to be then so be it.

Flakes. Not the snow ones.

I want to complain about bail-out-EVERY-SINGLE-TIME friends but I wrote a post three separate times and the deleted it every time. I don't think I really need to explain the annoyance of a person like this, you all, I'm sure, understand. But if you are the one I am talking about and you are actually taking the time to read my blog, then just know that it is really REALLY starting to piss me off. Especially the fact that you don't even bother to let me know when you cancel. I hope you fix this soon cause I'm done putting in the effort. That is all.

I want to write a post but nothing is coming to mind.

So I will just leave you with a couple of my favorite songs as of right now. And yes a huge chunk of them are the Beatles but if you know me at all that shouldn't surprise you in the least.

Wednesday night equals bedtime.

Apparently Wednesday is not the time to party. We got all dressed up and pumped up and then fed up when no one wanted to go out. So hopefully tomorrow night will be more full of thrill. Here's hoping!

P.S. Even though tonight kind of sucked, I ran into someone who didn't =] And he sort of made it worth it in the tiniest little way. Maybe sometime we'll actual plan one of our nights together instead of it always being a random bumping into. Cause you're kinda cute and I'm kinda interested. ;)

Misses for you.

I hate when people who's company I enjoy leave for a month! =(

7lbs 13oz

Payton Makenna Jeannotte, welcome to the world. ♥

July 19 2010

No words are suitible enough to title this post.

When I see something beautiful, and amazing, I just want to let the whole world know how wonderful it is, but words are never enough. We over use great words and we minimize their meaning by misusing them. That's why the things we see and feel that are simply breath taking can never be explained to another. And that is why poets have such talent. A poet can take the same old boring words we all hear everyday and create indescribably beauty out of them. They can put a twist on them, use them in a new order and a different context and bring back the initial meaning behind them and show us with words only, just what they see and feel. With just a bunch of ink on a piece of paper, we can feel the magic that the poet felt and understand the majesty of it.
So if you are a poet consider yourself among the lucky to have the talent to reach out and touch peoples hearts in a way much of the world has forgotten how to do. And thank you for keeping the magic in words alive.

For everyone who has ever been hurt by another.

Sometimes I wish I didn't have a heart. Cause then it would never have to be crushed again. But then I remember that not having a heart would mean not feeling all the amazing things that came before the heart break. And in reality, that warm feeling is always worth the pain that follows. It would just be nice for once to feel the warmth without having to see it end.

When in the dark, even with your eyes open, you see very little, or nothing at all. This is logic.

But even mentally, if you surround yourself with darkness, no matter how open you feel you are keeping your eyes, you won't truly see all that the world wishes to show you.

So do not just open your eyes and expect to see a loving world around you.

You first need to rid yourself of all that is dimming your light.

"lend me your eyes,

I can change what you see

but your soul you must keep,

totally free"

-

Mumford & Sons

Smile upon yourself. For you are a wonderful work of art.

How can it be possible, that you're so amazingly perfect, but my heart doesn't see that?

"The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish your feelings - words shrink things that seem timeless when they are in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out."

- Stephen King

Life up to date.

1) I have developed a new love for video cameras and filming random happenings of my life.

2) I lost my point and shoot about 6 months ago. I bought a new one today. Literally 15 minutes after I got home from Best Buy, I found my MIA camera!

3) I have a 65 dollar cowboy build-a-bear that sings romantic Jonas Brothers songs, that I now do not know what to do with because boys, unfortunately, do have the ability to change their minds, and I do not have the ability to return it.

4) I miss all my new friends back in Ontario.

5) My wonderful new sleep schedule that I have obtained over the past 2 weeks in Ontario has vanished due to my best friend being legal again now that we are back in drink-at-age-18 Alberta.

6) My friend from BC is coming for a visit with her new 2 week old beautiful baby girl who I am overly excited to meet!

7) Mosquitoes suck ass.

So. SERVE was AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I absolutely love love loved it! I met some really great new people and learned things about myself I never knew before.
And Toronto was great too, very large in every way!
Needless to say though I am happy to be home.
12 days and roughly 2000 dollars later, I am glad to be home.

I have never been on so many different modes of transportation in two weeks ever!!!!

SUV
car
airplane
school bus
go bus
coach
train
subway
tour bus/boat (it drives right into Lake Ontario and continues touring through the lake)
faerie
taxi
pontoon boat
foot
elevator
escalator
stairs
moving floors
even a chair lift!

Canada's wonderland was awesome! Behemoth is a must do for any theme parkers out there!

Pictures and more detail to come. For now, goodnight!!!

Another beautiful day embracing me♥

OH! But first before I go, I will leave you with the song that has embedded it's self in my head.
I know it's a popular radio hit, which isn't usually the type of thing I encourage people to listen to, but it is a little different than you'd expect. And I'm hooked.
Here it is.
Don't Let Your Feet Touch Ground by the lovely Ash Koley!

Hello day before departure and hello empty suitcase and dirty laundry!

Yes, as I have mentioned in previous posts, I am a procrastinator.
Today's TO DO list:

~Pack for 2 weeks in Toronto
~Wash clothes for 2 weeks in Toronto
~Go to the bank and transfer money for Toronto
~Visit my dad before I leave for Toronto
~Tidy my room so it's not a pig sty when I return from Toronto
~Attend a farewell BBQ for the group going to Toronto
~Get a good night sleep so that I am ready to go at 5am to get on a plane for Toronto
~Write my last blog before I leave for Toronto

As you can see, ONE thing on that list has been completed
You may be asking my why I am doing the single most unimportant thing on this list. And to be honest with you, I can't even answer that myself.

Anyways I will complete it all. I always do. Any I even have a good buddy stopping by to bid me farewell! I was suppose to go cliff jumping today into Glennifer Lake with a couple other friends, but the weather and my lack of packing has kind of put the kibosh on that plan.

Also, I did not manage to purchase the camera of my dreams before this trip like I had originally planned, and to top it all off, I lost my little point and shoot as well. So the promise for a wonderful photo display is a no go for this trip. Maybe my mother will let me borrow her Pentax K200D? Highly doubtful. Considering the downtown Toronto environment and all.

Anyways, sorry this post is so lame, but nothing exciting ever really happens the day before a trip. I promise to post as soon as I return, not that anyone will notice anyways. To my one, possibly two loyal readers, I will miss you! See you in August!

A quick note for the 2.
Trevor -Take good care of Lester! He maybe be ferocious, but he as well, needs love. I trust you to treat him right. Miss you! See you when I get back!
Jamin - I will not remove Jamaica from my wrist as long as you promise to save all those secrets for when I return! Miss you!!!♥

And to any other readers that I am unaware of, feel free to leave your name in the comment box so that I know there is actually other souls out there!
Post cards will be sent to those who massage me their address on facebook.

Much love xxx
♥

Here's to an evening of cardboard jungle animals, Chuck season 2, and great company that you feel as if might not be the same again.

I just want you to know, (you being YOU not the viciously broad circle of readers on my ever so popular blog. Even though I'm pretty sure both boil down to the same single soul.) that I don't want anything to change. I really like the way things are right now and I don't want you to vanish from my life in an way. Stay just the way you are cause even if it's not in the way you want, I really really enjoy having you around.

If you promise me you won't fall in love with the cute church girl then I promise you I won't marry a cardboard cut out of each of The Beatles and move into The Rock restaurant and lounge.
Do we have a deal?

Somehow MGMT inspired me to have a jungle themed birthday

I heart this video. I also heart the song. And MGMT in general. But I extra heart this video.

You had better as well.

~What do you want to me bring you back from Toronto?
~You.

You are so perfect. I feel like I am right out of a family channel movie!

Not to worry readers/reader. It will be a seperate blog.

I am holding auditions for someone to share a blog with. I do not have to know this person in the slightest. But having a collaboration of beautiful thoughts would be a dream come true. I have seen duo minded blogs, quite a few recently, and they always seem to hold much deeper emotion than those of a single soul.

If this tickles your fancy, you can email me at blogbuddy@ymail.com =]

If you weren't real, I would make you up.

What's the technical definition of head over heals?

Land Called Lost

If you can no longer feel the fire's chill,
Or become mesmerized by the river's flame,
If you want to dance until the earth learns how to sing,
Then come to a land called Lost with me.

Just want the needs of a thousand others,
And need the wants of few.
And obtain a knowledge that no one has,
To enter a land called Lost, with me.

Listen to the wind until your ears are blinded,
Gaze up to the pure sky till you can no longer hear.
Hold my hand until tomorrow never comes,
You're headed to a land called Lost with me.

Reach for the things that can not be grasped,
And yell out to those who are unable to hear.
And feel as you are embrace without touch,
For you're in a land called Lost with me.

June 10, 2010

Dear Diary,

Today Trevor whipped me with a silky tie. Thank you for listening.

Jennine

Today I watched the saddest thing.

A man, leaving Wal-Mart empty handed, headed for the exit doors and stopped about two centimeters from the door. Not an automatic he then realized. Normally, in this situation, you would just push the door open and continue on your quest. This man did otherwise. He turned around and walked around the barrier and joined a pushy crowd leaving through the actual automatic doors. I don't even know if this can be called lazy. All the effort to leave through the other doors just so that you don't have to open it yourself? I for one, enjoy feeling the power to control a doors movement on my own.
That also goes for you, automatic toilets! I will decide when I'm finished!

2010!

I love grad! Going to other peoples grad brings back all the memories

of my own grad. Congrats Brenton and Cassandra!!!!!!!

You both deserved this, and I'm very happy for you!

Make tonight memorable!

We must be swift as the coursing river,
with all the force of a great typhoon,

with all the strength of a raging fire,

mysterious as the dark side of the moon.

-From Mulan

Struggling artist.

If there are ANY souls out there who excel in the art of paper mache ponies, please contact me at your earliest convenience. Thank you kindly.