Tuesday, November 2, 2010

I will wait forever for the day you make up your mind. And until that day, I will be as loyal to you as I would be if you were mine and mine alone.

I would never let him go. If only I could call him mine.

That is something I have never been able to say honestly before. But he feels right to me. For the very first time ever, I feel like someone fits into every nook and cranny of my needs perfectly. I don't think he knows how whole he makes me feel, and I don't think he will ever believe that I will never EVER hurt him like she did. Before him, I would never believe myself if I had said that either. And I hate her for hurting him. Even if it meant giving him up forever, I would trade it for her loving him unconditionally so that he did not have to feel what heart broken feels like. No one should have to. I hate her for teaching him that letting his guard down only leads to getting hurt. Because sometimes, it doesn't have to be true. He's sworn it won't happen again. He will never let his guard down again and never allow himself to fall so hard. And for me, that means I'll be getting hurt. I would never tell him this, but the pain that comes with knowing you aren't quite special enough to risk another heartbreak, is just as bad as being heart broken.