RD life?? Nope, not feeling it anymore.

Well. It's been awhile since I've posted a blog. I don't have an excuse really, I just haven't been on the computer much these last few days. Not really feeling the computer life lately. I got a second job at Please Mum. I sort of hate it. And now, with two jobs, I'm working a total of 20 hours a week. Whoo. I think I'm going to quit shortly. I really want a waitressing job somewhere, so as soon as I get a job at a restaurant I'll be giving my 2 weeks. And hopefully working about 35 to 40 hours a week.

I have been looking through/creeping peoples facebook pages a lot this last month and I'm getting very restless. Everyone seems to be right where they were meant to be. We all may have lived in this little city but really, how many of us were made to stay here? I know that my plan is to travel and I'm not disappointed in my decision at all but saving up for traveling takes time. I can't just get up and go now with out a plan and money. But everyone else has moved away and found their calling. Going to school, or finding a tallent based carrer that doesn't invole schooling. Everyone has move forward, but I'm still stuck here. In a city I don't belong in. I can feel my future reaching out to me but I'm not ready to accept it yet. I want to travel, I want to see the world, but I can't live on my own or go to college, and travel at the same time. I just don't feel complete anymore. Something is missing. And I need to find what it is that I can do to keep myself happy in this next 2 years of saving and traveling before I move and start a new life in a new place, possibly even a new country. Maybe it's going to take a trip to a few new places to figure out what I'm meant to do in my time untill school, but right now I just want to get out. I'm sick of this life and of what little RD has to offer me.

As long as there's air to breath, girls will be boys.

Why do so many girls feel the need to impress guys by being more manly than them? Girls are constantly trying to have nicer cars, pretending to be tough, striking back with dirtier lines. Why is it necessary? If you were put on this earth without a dick then just accept it! No matter how hard you try, you just can't beat a guy at his own game. Guys will ALWAYS be better at being male then we, as girls, can ever possibly be. So stop pretending to be tough. I'm not saying that squealing about bugs and dirt is really called for either, but if you get punched in the face and it hurts, say so! If you get called a pussy? Well, embrace it. We're allowed to be pussies, we've got one right?

Flaunt your femininity; be a proud GIRL!!

And the heavens opened up and brought me Please Mum!

So I finally got a job after applying at virtually every single place in all of Red Deer, hiring or not. It's not the most thrilling and I'm still going to be on the hunt for something with day shifts and preferably where I can get tips, but this will be enough for now to get my parents off my back and the manager was very happy to work around my other jobs hours so I'm happy enough for now. My parents no longer have an excuse to wake me up at 8 am every freakin morning! =) Plus Tannis works there, and I'm fond of her. She was the narrator in The Puppet Master, so we've bonded.

I have a lot on my mind right now! D= =) =S

D= ~ I'm sick and I hate it! I miss my energy!

=) ~ I have a lot of upcoming events on the calander that I'm really looking forward too!

=S ~ The job hunt is really not going well and I don't know where else to apply!

I love my best friends but they all need more than I can give them right now. I guess the best I can do is be that 3 am shoulder that they all seem to need lately.
This is all I can do:

Janine - I'm sorry that the one thing that is making you the happiest right now, is hurting other people and, in return making you feel horrible. You're not a horrible person, don't let someone else angry words tear you down and don't let anyone else stop you from loving what you've got.

Makaila - I know it's hard when the one you love believes his friends rumors over your truth. I'm sorry that he won't open his eyes and see that you could never do anything to hurt him and that what you say to him is completely 100% true. Please never allow yourself to slip away just because one boy made a stupid mistake. Keep living your life, with or without him.

Kelsie - I wish there was something I could do to stop all the lies. The hardest thing has got to be when someone ends it all and then you find that everything they said to you over the past few months has been nothing but lies. There is someone out there, and someday you'll find him, who will never treat you badly.

I love you ladies and NEVER forget that. The most important thing for anyone to have is great friends and I'm very grateful for you three. I love you <3>

I told myself that I was going to turn 18 again next year, but 19 is starting to sound ok.

My friend Aaron turned 19 so for his birthday we had a 5 hour paint ball session, then we went back to his house and had some drinks, hot tubbed, and sat around the fire till we finally went to bed at about five. 3 of us stayed the night and the next day we woke up at 3 pm and lazed around all day only getting out of bed to eat then returning to watch/sleep through Pirates 3. At about 8 at night we though maybe we should do something productive so we set up a giant slip and slide on Aaron's green and called some more people to come over. Slip and slided for about an hour, hot tubbed, walked to sev, finished pirates and now I'm finally home. It was a pretty awesome 2 days and I met some sweet new kids that I'm looking forward to hanging out with again. (=

Jen(3x3)??! Huh?

Umm, so a couple people have asked about the above.
I'll lay it out for you.

Jen(3x3)
3x3=9
Jen(9)
9=nine
Jen(nine)
Jennine
!

I miss you. I know it's crazy of me, but I miss you.

I feel so untouched

And I want you so much

That I just can't resist you,

It's not enough to say that I miss you

I feel so untouched right now,

need you so much

Somehow I can't forget you,

I've gone crazy from the moment I met you

I've never even been to England but it's stuck in my head

I constantly find myself thinking about England lately, and I can see myself living there more and more each day. I'm definitely considering school over there. I don't really feel like I was created to live here, it doesn't fit. I don't fit. When I see pictures taken in England, or music by English artists, or movie filmed in the UK, the only thing I can think is, "That's so me!" My best friend can see it too, but I don't think a lot of other people can. Cause this is Canada, not England, and I can't be totally 100% myself here without feeling like a fool. I feel very much the same about New Zealand too, and Nanimo BC (which I know is still Canada but it's so original, and there's so many different styles of people there that you could be from Jupiter and still feel at home). But we'll see where I end up, I'm beginning to almost guarantee that it won't be here though.

Just thought I'd share.

I've started lane swimming daily to keep myself in shape and today there was a guy in the lane next to me and he was really super speedy so, I thought it would be a good idea to secretly swim-race him. Well, I got a little carried away and smoked my head on the pool wall at the end of the lane and I had to pause for awhile cause I thought I was going to black out. Now I have a lovely goose egg right on the top of my noggin.

Release date for The UK: April 1 09. Release date for Canada: November 13 09. Typical.

I saw a preview today for a movie called The Boat That Rocked and it looks so excellent! I love the style it's done in. After the preview, my friend said, "That looks really good, the style of it is so... YOU!"
The movie is about a rock music station, but the movie has a very indie/European style to it.. maybe cause the setting is in England. Anyways it looks awesome and I'll be counting down the days till it comes out!

I don't want to love you, I just want to be your friend.

Everything about you is so gosh darn wonderful, but you don't see it.
Everything you do leaves me full of awe.
I'm envious of all the things you have accomplished, but you're unaware that they are accomplishments.
I see you for who you are, because I myself, hide behind the same wall.
You inspire me to keep up with the dreams I have and to be proud of the things that I love, no matter how bizarre and non-mainstream they may be, but you have no clue that I look up to you this way.
You're creative, visual, fun, and easy to be around, yet you're tense, and I feel it.
You don't understand how many admirable traits you have, and you won't let anyone tell you.
Maybe I have you all wrong..
Or maybe you just need to give yourself more credit.

Get over it!

Lot a knots, lot a snags,

lot a holes, lot a cracks, lot a crags,

lot a naggin' old hags.

Lot a fools, lot a fool scum bags.

Oh it's such a drag, what a chore,

oh your wounds are full of salt.

Everything's a stress and what's more,

well it's all somebody's fault.

Make you sick, make you ill,

makes you cheat, slipping change from the till.

Had it up to the gills.

Makes you cry while the milk still spills.

Ain't it just a bitch?

What a pain, well it's all a crying shame.

What left to do but complain?

Better find someone to blame.

HEY!

Get get get get get over it!!

Nicely said Ok Go (=