You'll never read this but I'll post it anyways.

I just want to tell you that I have settled with your decision. I can live with it. The timing's not right, you mind isn't made up, you thought you wanted something that you really don't, whatever your reasoning behind it may be, I understand and respect it. What I can't deal with is how we've changed because of it. I miss the old us. Nothing is the same anymore. We can both pretend all we want that it's normal, but you and me both know that it isn't. Your attitude towards me has changed and I now see you differently than I did for these past 13 years. I miss us. I don't think there's anything either of us can do to fix it now, but I just wanted to get that out there. Even if you never read this, at least it's out there.