Sunday, August 30, 2009

A few things I needed to get off my chest.

So summer is basically over. This has definitely been the most eventful summer I have ever had. I've hung out with lots of people that I normally wouldn't have and I didn't lose touch with any of the people I was worried about losing after graduation. But now September is coming and lots of people are moving away and starting college and even though many people are still staying here, I feel like I'm being left behind. People will start their new lives and meet tonnes of great people and forget about good old RD. I'm excited to see where I will end up but I'm so worried about not keeping touch. I hate letting go. Change has always been something that's hard for me. I'm going to travel though. I have a few trips planned with others but after that I might just travel solo. That will be a very new experience for me because I am very much a people person. And I'm also worried that when I travel, someplace is going to hook me, and I'll end up moving there. I can see myself living in England or New Zealand. Everything about those two countries intrigues me, and the things I want to do in college would be even greater there, especially in England. My mom gave me one rule about traveling. She said I'm not allowed to fall in love with someone in a different country because she doesn't want him to steel me away and have me want to stay and live with him. I told her I wasn't going to promise her anything, but I don't think it would take a man to capture me. I think I could fall in love with the land it's self and never ever want to leave. But we'll see what happens and where I end up.

A few things I am looking forward to in the next few close months:
Sometime very soon, like before the end of September, I would like to go skydiving. I told myself I would do it for my 18th because my mom wouldn't let me do it any earlier. She told me she wasn't going to be the one to sign my death papers so I had to wait till I was legal and now it has just sort of sat on the back burner.
I would also like to get my tattoo in mid September. The first one I am getting is a little bird or a butterfly on the inside of my heal. It is very symbolic and represents something that I have learnt that has kept me going through all this summers struggles. I will get the feather later. It doesn't have a meaning, just looks sweet.
And last on my excitement list: My month long Australia trip might be bumped up to November instead of January! I have no clue how on earth I will have the money by then but somehow it will work out.

Also I would just like to say, to all the people close to me right now, or trying to get close, that I'm very sorry for my downer and non-up beat attitude lately. I know it's noticeable and it's probably been such a drag having me around, or a nuisance for my family, who I know have noticed an attitude change. I try hard to smile and be myself and I try to occupy as much of my time as I can so that I'm not home, cause all I seem to do when I'm home is put on a snotty front for no reason and all it does is piss of my house. I've had a lot on my mind this summer and a lot of changes and like I said, I don't handle it well, but hopefully, come fall, my real self will surface again and I can go back to happy, outgoing me. Thanks for putting up with it for the last month or so.