I'm going to Las Vegas and the only thing I can think about is the amazing pictures I'll get!

Las Vegas baby!!

)ct 13 - 17

Lil' bro <3

My little brother turned thirteen in February. He is very intelligent and sort of keeps to himself. He has a few close friends but that's pretty much it. He's never really concerned himself with clothing style or trends. He likes what he like and is happy that way. But just recently he told my mom that he wanted to start shopping at West Forty-Nine, so my mom told him that for his back to school clothing we could go there. I never get along with my little brother and we never really talk, but guess who he wanted to come with him and Mom on the shopping trip? Me! I feel so proud =) It's weird, but I do. I enjoy being a big sister!

A few things I needed to get off my chest.

So summer is basically over. This has definitely been the most eventful summer I have ever had. I've hung out with lots of people that I normally wouldn't have and I didn't lose touch with any of the people I was worried about losing after graduation. But now September is coming and lots of people are moving away and starting college and even though many people are still staying here, I feel like I'm being left behind. People will start their new lives and meet tonnes of great people and forget about good old RD. I'm excited to see where I will end up but I'm so worried about not keeping touch. I hate letting go. Change has always been something that's hard for me. I'm going to travel though. I have a few trips planned with others but after that I might just travel solo. That will be a very new experience for me because I am very much a people person. And I'm also worried that when I travel, someplace is going to hook me, and I'll end up moving there. I can see myself living in England or New Zealand. Everything about those two countries intrigues me, and the things I want to do in college would be even greater there, especially in England. My mom gave me one rule about traveling. She said I'm not allowed to fall in love with someone in a different country because she doesn't want him to steel me away and have me want to stay and live with him. I told her I wasn't going to promise her anything, but I don't think it would take a man to capture me. I think I could fall in love with the land it's self and never ever want to leave. But we'll see what happens and where I end up.

A few things I am looking forward to in the next few close months:
Sometime very soon, like before the end of September, I would like to go skydiving. I told myself I would do it for my 18th because my mom wouldn't let me do it any earlier. She told me she wasn't going to be the one to sign my death papers so I had to wait till I was legal and now it has just sort of sat on the back burner.
I would also like to get my tattoo in mid September. The first one I am getting is a little bird or a butterfly on the inside of my heal. It is very symbolic and represents something that I have learnt that has kept me going through all this summers struggles. I will get the feather later. It doesn't have a meaning, just looks sweet.
And last on my excitement list: My month long Australia trip might be bumped up to November instead of January! I have no clue how on earth I will have the money by then but somehow it will work out.

Also I would just like to say, to all the people close to me right now, or trying to get close, that I'm very sorry for my downer and non-up beat attitude lately. I know it's noticeable and it's probably been such a drag having me around, or a nuisance for my family, who I know have noticed an attitude change. I try hard to smile and be myself and I try to occupy as much of my time as I can so that I'm not home, cause all I seem to do when I'm home is put on a snotty front for no reason and all it does is piss of my house. I've had a lot on my mind this summer and a lot of changes and like I said, I don't handle it well, but hopefully, come fall, my real self will surface again and I can go back to happy, outgoing me. Thanks for putting up with it for the last month or so.

And in just moments

You took it all away.

Inside out.

thIs feels so aMazingly right.
i trust you With everything inside Of me.
i know you will do whateveR it takes to make me smile.
i know you won't huRt me.
I know you would nEver Do anyThing to me to pusH me Away.
i know That through thIck and thin, you have always been here
and i know that isn't going to change anytiMe soon.
i knoW you caRe.
i knOw this is what you have been waNtinG.
But...

In just moments

You made my whole entire world flip.

All my emotions twisted to the opposite side of the scale.

I've been waiting for this for so long and you finally allowed me to have it.

I feel light,

giddy,

joy-filled.

All round happy.

Because you said just one little jumble of words to me.

And that one little jumble gave me exactly what I've been waiting for

for nearly forever.

It feels great to finally have you.

=J

...

My entire world just changed in 10 seconds flat.

My travel plans at a glance.

First stop: Wherever I choose in the states for a 3 night shopping spree in October or late September, to reward me for living through 18 years or life. Courtesy of my loving mommy (=.

Second stop: Australia. For the month of January. My friend has close family friends there so we won't have to pay for rooming and hardly anything for food.

Third stop: Two or Three weeks in England in March to visit a friend.

Fourth stop: Three week road trip to California in May to hit many different theme parks, 12 in total. One week scenic route along the coast home.

Fifth stop: Hopefully still a month or two of backpacking through Spain around the months of November/December/January/February. Although some guy/girl friend issues have occurred with this travel buddy and myself so hopefully everything is back to normal and this trip is still a go.

Sixth stop: Undecided. But my two most wanted trips are New Zealand and South Africa, so once I'm done the above list, I will go where I MYSELF truly want to go, other than agreeing with others and going to their #1's. Not that I am complaining in anyway about my future plans, it's just not my first choice.

Forgotten treasures

I was reorganizing my computer files and I came across this folder with just a bunch of some of my old pictures. Taken with a Sony point and shoot. Most of them were taken in BC.

Birds of a Feather.

Coming this fall.

Journey + Journey + Journey = Unforgettable

Journey --> Two boys, two girls, loud music, late night, throughout Red Deer.
Journey --> Dodge, blue, '09, 26 mpg, power windows with no child locks.
Journey --> All-male band, classic rock, late 70's, Don't Stop Believing.

I ain't here to do anything halfway,

don't give a damn what anyone might say,

I just wanna free fall for a while.

Finally!

Thanks Riordan for putting up with my lack of computer skills long enough to teach me how to put music on!

Oldies:

Paul Simon - You Can Call Me Al
Asia - Heat of the Moment
Dire Straits - Money For Nothing


Alternative:

Scissors For Lefty - Lay Down Your Weapons
Slow Club - Drinking, Thinking, Sinking Feeling
Modest Mouse - Missed the Boat
Badly Drawn Boy - Something To Talk About
Arctic Monkeys - Only One Who Knows

Some people's minds!

She could have had everything I've wanted for a long time,

but she passed it all up and I still can't understand why.

Long lasting love.

I was sitting on a bench waiting for my ride yesterday and from where I was sitting I could see the DQ parking lot. I watched a very old couple, probably mid eighties, walk out of the building and into the parking lot. The woman was exceptionally slow and the man was about ten steps behind her. Then I watched him pick up his pace and speed walk past her. I thought to myself, wow, how rude. He won't even wait to walk with his slow wife! But as I kept watching I realized what he was doing. He walked past her so he could beet her to the car to open the door for her. He opened it and then stood there till she got in and then he closed it for her. (= After probably 60 years of marriage and he still opens the door for her. I think that is the most precious thing I've ever seen.

Newest addition

Now I have a lawn gnome to add to my collection. (=

Gang fight.

All I have to say is don't mess with none-white people.
Absolutely nothing against them, but you won't win.

And to make up for the horrible waste of money that Funny People was...

...The Goods.
This movie was so gut splittingly funny! I laughed though basically the whole thing, and it's very quotable (= I strongly recommend it as a refresher after you are done watching Funny People, which I warned was no good, but chances are you went to see it anyways. Spend your time wisely. Go see The Goods. Live hard. Sell hard.

Fact 4) I 'm only human.

When no one's looking, sometimes I try on crazy outfits.
When no one's looking, sometimes I watch little kid shows.
When no one's looking, sometimes I copy other people's answers.
When no one's looking, sometimes I cry.
When no one's looking, sometimes I pick my scabs.
When no one's looking, sometimes I write your name.
When no one's looking, sometimes I pick my wedgie.
When no one's looking, sometimes I do OCD things.
When no one's looking, sometimes I litter.
When no one's looking, sometimes I act out situations.
When no one's looking, sometimes I laugh.
When no one's looking, sometimes I leave groceries on the wrong shelf.
When no one's looking, sometimes I creep your profile.
When no one's looking, sometimes I check myself out.
When no one's looking, sometimes I mouth things to myself.
When no one's looking, sometimes I eat with my fingers.
When no one's looking, sometimes I scratch my butt.
When no one's looking, sometimes I stare at people.
When no one's looking, sometimes I binge eat chocolate.
When no one's looking, sometimes I prove that no one is perfect.

3-2-1

Hey boy
you look fun
I’ll race you to the flag pole
3-2-1

You win
It’s no where near a draw
I collapse at the finish line
And look at you in awe

It’s as simple as that
then we’re ready to go
What will come out of this
we don’t know
Just two people

in it for the fun
I’m ready to jump now
3-2-1

Now it’s many years later
And those memories still last
We look back at the good times
and the feelings from the past

And we don’t quite understand it
but now there’s something new
A feeling the develops
When it’s only me and you

It’s as simple as that
then we’re ready to go
What will come out of this
we don’t know
Just two people

in it for the fun
I’m ready to jump now
3-2-1

You and me
together since day one
Every minute spent together
Always equals fun

An entire past of friendship
A new journey sparked with love
We fit with one another
Just like fingers in a glove

It’s as simple as that
then we’re ready to go
What will come out of this
we don’t know
Just two people

in it for the fun
I’m ready to jump now
3-2-1

You take me by the hand
And lead me to the park
Where we began our history,
Where I felt that first spark

You grasp a little tighter
and look beyond the sand
But this time when we race
You never drop my hand

It’s as simple as that
then we’re ready to go
What will come out of this
we don’t know
Just two people

in it for the fun
I’m ready to jump now
3-2-1

Your Ladder

You seem so lonely.
Not afraid,
Not lost,
Just trapped.
Stuck in a place that is not your own.
Even your house is not your home.
And you devour yourself with loneliness,
Hide from reality.
But you need to be free
To open up and explore,
To revel in what is here now.
I am here now.
I am here waiting.
Waiting to remove you from that pit.
I want to be the ladder
thrown down to you as you escalate out.
Back into the light,
renewing your expired will,
your lust for life and fun.
You make it sound so difficult
but really, it's simple,
It's one word.
Me.

Ch-ch-ch changes!

I am redoing my room!
These are the colors I have chosen and all details will be black. (=
I'm quite excited. Now I just need time to do it!

You'll never read this but I'll post it anyways.

I just want to tell you that I have settled with your decision. I can live with it. The timing's not right, you mind isn't made up, you thought you wanted something that you really don't, whatever your reasoning behind it may be, I understand and respect it. What I can't deal with is how we've changed because of it. I miss the old us. Nothing is the same anymore. We can both pretend all we want that it's normal, but you and me both know that it isn't. Your attitude towards me has changed and I now see you differently than I did for these past 13 years. I miss us. I don't think there's anything either of us can do to fix it now, but I just wanted to get that out there. Even if you never read this, at least it's out there.

non-lactose intolerance

I gave up my most favorite thing in the whole world about 6 months ago. Milk. I was having some problems with my innards so we (me, my mother who is a nurse, and my friend who is lactose intolerant) decided that I was intolerant to milk. I stopped drinking it, or attempted to, and also tried my hardest to stop eating foods with lactose in them, so anything with cheese, milk or cream. Which is a LOT of delicious food. It really sucked. No Starbucks frappichinos, no pizza, no ice cream cake, no Denny's cheesy omelets, no chocolate milk, no cheddar on my Subway subs, no cream of broccoli soup, no pudding, no cereal, no ANYTHING!! It was horrible. But not eating milk products seemed to help settle things down inside, so I went with it. ((sometimes I cheated..)) Then the doctor told me she wanted to do a blood test to be sure that's what it was. Guess what? No intolerance to milk. Something else is bothering my middle. Chromes, Celiacs, IBS? Who knows. But I just wasted months of my life dying cause I couldn't have ANYTHING. When really I could have. Never self-diagnose yourself with anything. It sucks to be wrong.

Be unique.

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Give it a listen

When I Go by Slow Club. Catchy, original, adorable. Worth your time.

A little bit of Asia.

I think I permanently have Heat of the Moment stuck in my head. I was actually singing it to myself while scavenging through a garage sale and low and behold I found an Asia cassette tape! Fate. So I bought it and listened to it all day today. It didn't help the stuck-in-my-head situation any but you can't resist a little bit of the oldies every now and then. I also bought 2 Boston cassettes, a Bon Jovi, a Europe, and a Journey cassette too.

Funny People//Not Funny

Adam Sandler has been doing some weird movies lately where thay start out funny then get depressing (ie. Click). I don't think it's fair to call them comedy, or give them a title like "Funny People". Funny People was 2.5 hours long and only the first 45 minutes was funny. Then it gets serious and sad and dramatic and drags on and on and ooooooooooooooon for the last hour and 45 minutes with a pointless story line that isn't moving forward. Congrats Adam for once again creating a comedy about the depressing ending of life.

!

How is it that guys can be so good at thinking with their

dicks

when most of them don't have any balls?

MAN UP!!