I see lessons coming up in my near future.

Three things I really love doing but suck immensely at

One•Singing.

Two•Playing pool.

Three•Two-stepping.

But I will continue to do them all with pride =]

If things work out for me then I promise I will listen to my heart, mind and soul more often. If not, I am muting myself forever.

Two things.

A) I felt true jealousy today. Right down to my core. I could honestly feel it in my bones, like a shock hit me and zapped right through. It was a new form of pain to me. I think it's my heart trying to tell me something.

B) I gave in. Number one, four posts back fell through. I had a dream last night that things finally worked out and I was a happy camper again cause I had my friend back. But I woke up to the false reality of life and I had to try one more time to fix it, because that one was my subconscious trying to tell my something.

I think I'm growing up.

I have lately felt the need to de-clutter my room. I am sick of it looking the way it does, even when it's clean. I bought these hanging closet organizers and I re-did that, and now I'm moving on to the rest of my room, hanging pictures and getting rid of crap, putting things away that don't need to be displayed anymore. Yesterday I was in Wal-Mart and I saw a really cute little chair and I mention to my mother that I liked it and thought it would be cute in my room. Earlier that day I told her how I would like my own desk in the office to do my art work on so that I can have one room to do that in and keep it out of my room. She said to me, "I think you're ready to move out." Very seriously and very proudly. I think it's the first time she's ever felt it's true. And although it is very nice to hear and makes me feel mature and grown up, it still makes me sad because most of me never wants to grow old and move forward. I enjoy my youth and I know that every passing day is carrying me further away from it. Someday I'll be sitting, rocking my grandbaby and I will wonder where the years went. And I couldn't beg enough to keep that day away. I'll appreciate it when it arrives and I know I'll look down at that beautiful life and think to myself that there is no where else I'd rather be, but for the time being, I would rather reverse time then advance.

I was looking back at my older posts and I stumbled across one of my favorite comments ever. I posted a line from a song I adore. It was "Another beautiful day embracing me." And the posted comment said, "Every beautiful day embraces you."

Warm feelings fill me =] Thank you "Anonymous"

♥♥

Fact 5: I'm an originals girl. Whoever did it first did it best, in my books.

Is it just me or does the music video for "If I Had You" by Adam Lambert look a HECK of a lot like MGMT's "Electric Feel"?

Shucks, it's too bad MGMT is so much better..

P.S. I feel the same about all those out there who take perfectly lovely 70's and 80's rock songs, steel the chorus and rap around it. Yuck. It was a hit song for a reason. Cause it was phenomenal just the way it was! If any current rappers ever messes with a Beatles song I will boycott them.

My life needs changing.

I feel the need to break out and change my life style. laze less, live more, be who I am.

I have 3 things that have been muchly on my mind lately.

One) You-know-who is still causing a void in my life, still not talking. I have for once and for all decided to forget it. I am going to accept it. Everything happens for a reason right? I must be better off without having him as a friend, if he's supposed to be in my life, he'll come around.
Two) I'm tired of being single. It was fun and I really enjoyed being carefree and independent for this past little while but I'm ready to settle down again. But I also really want to wait for that perfect someone this time and not settle, so even though I want a boy, I'm going to hold out for the right one.
Three) I need to do something drastic. I feel like this summer was too.. safe. I want a bit of excitement that brings a real rush, and soon. I'm getting very restless.

P.S.

ConnorBramwell•TrevorBidyk•BrentonChung•KelsieBakker:

Thank you for being in my life =]

♥♥

And again.

I think I'm taking another blogging break.
I will leave you with a little bit of info.

1) I am looking VERY forward to Brenton's 18th!!! - On the 18th of September, a gong show will go down. And it will be a very memorable night that most of the attendees probably won't remember.
2) I am extremely sad that someone whom of which I really enjoyed spending time with still has not talked to me. -I am calling it quits my friends, it sucks and I would give almost anything to turn it around, but this someone obviously has made up their mind, so I will leave them be with their choice and step back.
3) My travel situation has, once again, changed. - I'm not even going to bother posting what's happening now until I myself know for sure.
And 4) My mind is streaming with bucket loads of creativity, but my motivation is taking it easy for a while. - Nothing new had managed to make it out of my head and into the real world. Hence, this break.

See you all soon, except that I'm almost positive that even my one and only loyal reader has finally found something else to do other than sit and read my life's ramblings.

I have discovered the joys of being out going, carefree, and confident!

Not that I wasn't all of these things before, I just didn't put them to use at Billy Bob's, which, for anyone who doesn't know, is a local country bar, more of a pub with a small dance floor, not like a night club. I never used to enjoy it, I actually used to hate it. I didn't know how to two-step, and I'm not a cowgirl and I just sat there and looked angry 99 percent of the evening. This does not equal an enjoyable time. But the other night, me and my Best girly Kelsie went out to Billy's with our friend Sara. We didn't want to be there, we wanted to go to Lotus (an overly crowded night club, where we feel more at home.) Sara said we could leave as soon as we danced with 4 different guys between the two of us. Anything to get out of Billy's we thought! So we hunted down some boys. But once we set out looking for partners and got on the floor we actually started to enjoy our selves, and our two guys each turned into three and then 4 and pretty soon we didn't want to leave at all! We stayed till close and had a wonderful time! Last night we went to Billy's again and actually danced and once again enjoyed ourselves, and we discovered that it really doesn't matter if you know how to two step because neither do 75 percent of the people there!

I remember when I was in school and our Careers and life management teachers were telling us about confidence and how if we pretended we loved ourselves and walked tall that eventually we would trick our minds and we would slowly become confident for real. Well it works the same way with having fun! If you pretend you are having an amazing time even if you just want to get the heck out of the country bar, people see that and react positively, and at some point you realize that the pretending stopped and you really ARE having a good time!
Hard to believe that I actually learned something important in school!