A true story.

-Doctor, doctor! We're loosing the patient!
-Nurse! Pass me the knife!
Doctor spreads Becel generously over the slightly cooled toast
-He's loosing heat fast!
Nurse picks up the buttered toast and puts it back in the toaster and pushes down the lever
-CLEAR!
Nurse pops lever back up with extreme force sending the toast sifting though the air
Doctor spreads Smucker's generously over the re-heated toast
The two shake hands
-Congratulations on a successful operation doctor.

I take a big bite of the delicious toast and marvel at my wonderful use of time.
I love you best friend [=