Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Wow. Everything just seems to be falling apart lately. Since the end of high school it seems like only time until absolutely nothing in my life is the same. I have lost everyone I'm close with and pretty much everyone I'm not close with too. And I'm changing, I can feel it. I don't want to change though, I absolutely love who I was becoming. Not having the same people in my life has caused me to tuck things about myself away and become more like the people I'm around now and I hate it. I don't want to be like anyone, I want to be myself, but all the people who had similar interests as me have all vanished and I feel like I'm left here to pull of some sort of life that doesn't exist any more. Clare, you have no idea how excited I am to come see you. This chance for escape is more than I could ask for right now.
Along with this new me had come a loss of interest in everything I used to love. I am no longer inspired to write, draw, blog.. None of it. I don't even take pictures anymore or listen to my music and realizing this feels like a part of me has died. I guess a part of me HAS died. My creativeness is no longer the first thing on my mind. It, along with my passion and inspiration has been pushed to the back. I know if I sat down and said, I'm going to write a poem, I still could but I takes that thought and that push to get it, it doesn't just flow like it used to. So once again, I'm going to take a break from blogging. I feel like I'm cheating myself if I force myself to blog, it's not the same when it feels like an assignment. Hopefully I'll be back soon, but maybe this is the new me and maybe I'll accept that. Much love to all my readers. ♥


Trevor B said...

Don't do it Jenoodle.