We must be swift as the coursing river,
with all the force of a great typhoon,

with all the strength of a raging fire,

mysterious as the dark side of the moon.

-From Mulan

Struggling artist.

If there are ANY souls out there who excel in the art of paper mache ponies, please contact me at your earliest convenience. Thank you kindly.

On companionship.

Do you have someone in your life who seems to be able to instantly make you feel better no matter how miserable you feel to begin with? I have a couple and I feel like the richest girl on the face of the earth. I feel true sincerity when you comfort me, not just as though you said it cause you knew you should, but that you really mean it. Thank you to those of you who give a little piece of heart out when people most need it. You are greatly appreciated. Much love to you.

Excitement!

In just over 2 months I will be getting on an airplane and flying to the Honeymoon capital of the world! Niagara Falls I am coming for you!
My plan is to purchase a very nice camera before my trip so I can have some legit pictures to show you. The first part of the trip, 7 days will be a serve trip. Like a mini mission trip. Painting shelters, working for habitat for humanity, women's homes, soup kitchens, that sort of jazz. Then me and Kelsie Rae are treating ourselves to a 5 night stay in Toronto since it will only cost us about 100 extra a day plus spending. We raise money for the serve trip, so the whole first week is only 350. That's including everything. All travel, air fair, accommodations, food, sessions, our day trip to the falls themselves, everything!
I am very thrilled for the week in Toronto, but to be honest, I'm more looking forward to the serve trip I think.
Anyways that's what I'm looking to in the nearest future.

Also, Jordan Ettinger, if you're still out there, I have patiently been walking to the mail box everyday, awaiting you letter but alas it has not come. I strongly believe you should get on that.

Take care all, have a wonderful sleep.

Don't ever grow up. Even if you age on the outside, stay young at heart.

A penguin is not a flightless bird. He just flies across a different horizon.

I watched the Disney movie Oceans in theatres the other day and it was beautiful. I love those movies and the filming in them. I would give anything to be part of the earth like that. To be millimeters away from a shark and feel no need for fear. Or to dance with the jellyfish, or play tag with the dolphins. I envy the marine biologists who are given the opportunity to encounter the world like that.
One thing that struck me as peculiar though was during the penguin scene, hundreds of penguins jumped into the ocean and they went from an awkward waddle on land to a place where they were the most gracefully, and beautiful things. And then the narrator spoke, just as they all flawlessly dove in and soared through the ice blue ocean. He said, these flightless birds are at home under the ice. And all I could think was, "How can you look at those birds and tell me they are not flying? How can you look at that and name it a word of such failure as 'flightless'. A winged creature who cannot fly seems so wasteful. But these birds are not. The are graceful and majestic. And they DO fly. They just fly across a different horizon. They are creative and resourceful. And they DO fly.

A tad late.

I love people watching!

Roughly a month ago, I went for a stroll around the lovely Bower Ponds and then sat myself on a bench to relax. While doing so, my eyes focused on a tattered old man. Wearing clothing that showed he probably wasn't fitting in with the wealthy. He was sitting alone and just staring at a Timmie's Roll Up the Rim cup. He stared for a good few minutes and then slowly, very slowly, proceeded to roll his rim. He looked very very hopeful, and honest to goodness, he even had his tongue sticking out a little. When the rim was finally rolled a grave look of disappointment washed over him. He sat there for a little bit longer and then stood and walked his cup over to the garbage. I have never seen anyone look so devastated over an empty coffee cup. But it was a very entertaining show.

Just the thought of you can drive me wild,,

Oh, you make me smile.

=]

If you're meant to be with someone, it'll happen.

I now have complete faith in this statement♥

=]

♥I can't believe I once let you go. I won't give up so easily this time.

My sorrows pass with the changing seasons.

The ice melts and the chill begins to leave the air.
The true colors of the earth are able to shine through, and leave the harsh nothingness of a pure white blanket behind.
But is this new warmth here to stay, or are the season fooling, and putting on a false front?

I hate blabber-mouths!

You're like a best friend that I'm not best friends with yet.

I know that you will read this and right away know I am talking about you but, but that's ok, cause I'm not trying to keep it a secret.

Somebody has placed them self in my life at the exact right time that I needed them.
This person has gone out of their way to check up on me on many separate occasions and although I find it sort of hard to open up and actually talk and get everything off my chest, this soul has come and lifted some of the burden without me having to say a word. He just somehow wiggled his way into my life and I couldn't be more grateful. This isn't a person that I hangout with on a day to day basis, and I've never had a real deep conversation with him either but he has let me know that if ever I need someone, he'll be there and I couldn't have asked for a promise like that at any better of a time. The "How are you doing?" texts are more than a "Yo, what's up?" I can actually feel that when he ask, he really truly wants to know how I'm doing. He's genuinely concerned about my well-being. And he has offered me a ride to work now, and even though I feel greedy accepting, because I am perfectly capable of taking the bus, I am planning on taking him up on the offer on a regular basis because even just sitting in the same car with him makes me feel like I can relax and let go of some stress. I don't know why this is, maybe because I have very few people in my life right now that I can honestly say I trust with everything. And that includes trusting not to judge. He just gives off that vibe of promise and truth and just feeling it makes me feel better. This probably sounds like I am sitting here ranting my love story to blogger, but it's really not like that at all. I feel like I am sitting on a dock with my feet in the water on a warm summer night after the sun has gone down when he's in anyway present. (That includes text message, because texting is known as presence now, thanks to the 21st century.) It's like when you wake up in the middle of the night after one of those horrible horrible dreams and you roll over and your old teddy bear is right there waiting to cuddle, or after you finish a snowball fight and you get back to the house and your friends adorable little brother has made everyone hot chocolate, or when you grab a blanket and lay with your life long best friend in the grassy country field and watch a meteor shower late one night in August. I agree, this is kind of ridiculous, but I am the kind of person who likes to explain in detail when I think someone is amazing, even if I do barely know them. So if you don't already know who you are then you're a fool, but thank you, just for being there, cause life has hit that "This is the way things are now that high school is done and all your friends are going their separate ways and your parents expect more from you now that you're an adult" snag for me, and it sucks. But I am more than happy there are people who care about me enough to step in and help in the littlest ways like you. Don't take this in a creepy way please. Take it in a, "thank you from the bottom of my heart" way. Cause writing a blog for you is pretty much the only way I know of to let out my true feelings of gratitude.

A grin for you [=

Today was a good day. I like being at work, I always seem to be happier when I'm there. I don't have to fake anything or try to make anyone proud. Nobody there wants me to try harder to be something that I can't right now, so it's a nice escape while it lasts. I also kind of like the bus ride home. I hate the bus ride to work because I usually have to rush myself to catch it and it's always full of screaming middle school kids. But on the ride home, the bus is almost always empty and the hour of relaxation is sort of nice. To just sit and think and listen to music and not have to do anything or talk to anyone if I don't want to. It's like having a nap after work minus the sleeping.
And I have been thinking about the future a bit and some plans are unfolding quite nicely. Achievable plans without having to stretch myself to my limits.
Things all round are just finally starting to look up a tiny bit. Maybe winter just isn't my season.

Mais hier est derrière nous.

A lion rages, a volcano erupts, one hundred fireworks go off. A gun fires multiple times and a bomb explodes with force enough to collapse entire towns.

Painted smiles, scripted words, mimicked laughs, and thoughts uncensored.

Basic needs, piling wishes, and multiplying desires. Unfulfilled.

Emotions, memories, dreams, trapped words and knowledge of truth untold. Bound to one single, fragile mind.

Weakness and an abundance of a new found sense of falsehood

Tomorrow will come, but that's not always a positive phrase.

Yesterday held the coo of a songbird, and crashing waves. Rising suns, falling stars and perfectly formed snowflakes.

Each day a new ambition and flooding goals.

True happiness felt from within, great moments to cherish forever, fantasies exploding from an eager soul.

A strong heart, mind and outlook.

But yesterday is behind us.

Ég finn ekki hamingjusamur lengur ... og það er meira en bara brottför áfanga.

I wish I could say that in English but I'm scared to admit it to anyone just yet.