"Some day" is so far away.

As tired eyes sleep, 

Another set weep,

Begging for "some day" to come.

For the days filled with truth,

And years filled with youth,

And two hearts beating as one. 

But the day is not "some", 

It has still yet to come. 

The future holds on much too tight.

So down I will lay, 

And patient I'll stay, 

While these eyes weep through the night. 

Hello again =)

It's been awhile.
MANY things have changed. MANY.
I had a slight break, but as I promised, I'm back =)
I'm not going to fill you in on what my life is like right now, because I'm more than a tad busy with a few things for the next bit. But my break is over. Ive missed this place!

A month?!

I know, I know!! Jennine what are you thinking?? Abandoning your blog for a MONTH!!! I don't care to explain though. I will continue, so stay posted. Just give me time.

As promised

These last few days just haven't really been blog days. I apologize.
My parents left the night of the first. They are currently in the Caribbean soaking up the sun and the experience. I'm happy for them but jealous as all get out.
The night they left, I got a message from a friend of mine who hid a well-before-mid-life-crisis.
Long story short, he needed a place to stay while he looked for a place to rent. And as much as he probably thinks it was a favor for him, it was also a favor to me! I hate when my parents leave. I love the feeling of being grown up and on my own, but I hate the loneliness of an empty home. This week I discovered the joys of a room mate!
Nathan is one of those people who to me, is like family. It felt like we had lived together for years, and I kind of miss him already. But the five days he was here, made me REALLY want to move out. I love having a room mate, I love having the freedom of being on my own and I love that grown up feeling that comes with taking care of something as huge as a house! So. I am well aware that moving out with severely dampen the rate at which I can save for a trip, but I also know that as of right now, I am traveling, as well as spending way too much money on crap I don't actually need, such as clothing, fast food and alcohol. If I were to cut the unimportant things out of my spending, I could easily afford to share a place with someone AND travel. IF I were to cut that out.
My goal for myself is to find a new job and ditch Rona, which is giving me a grand ol total of five and a half hours a week. And put away $1200 a month. $800 for traveling, $400 for "rent". (Which should be very possible with a decent second job considering when I first started at Rona I was working 30 hours a week and making $2000/month between my two jobs. This would leave me with $600 spending per month for groceries, phone bill, entertainment and bus fair. well over enough if I control my spending. And I would still be putting away the same amount as I am right now for traveling.
If I can go all the way till my next trip (in April) putting away $1200 a month and not run into any troubles, then I think I may just move out the beginning of May. Coming from a 19.5 year old, this sounds like a plan that should have been execute a couple years ago, but when you have it so good at home, and you have to choose between living your dream, which for me is traveling, and something you REALLY want, it's not always the easiest choice. But lately, I am realizing that if I grow up a little, I can easily make BOTH happen. All I need to do is discipline myself a little bit more. Or a lot more.

I KNOW!

I'm sincerely sorry, if anyone even really cares. I just have been busy. With my parents gone, and with having a room mate for the past 5 days. I'll give you an update and I'll post all my missed day challenges once I'm home from work. Promise!

I know. I've been failing on my thirty day challenge as far as yesterday and today go. And I'm going to fail for the rest of today cause I'm in no shape to write a nice long post.

Day 6 --- A stranger

DUCKY @ [written*sanctuary]

*

*

*
Start: 2121

Music: "Moon" // George Winston

*

You held my hand when the moon was high

Kissed my lips and made me sigh

Breath lifting up into the sky

I should've known better than to lie

But the way it lifted up to the stars

Even though I knew in my heart

That the promise "We'll never be apart"

Was doomed right from the start

It made me want to lie

*

End: 2123

*

Start: 2125

Music: Piano Sonata #8 in C Minor, Op 13 "Pathetique" //

Beethoven (played by Vladimir Ashkenazy)

*

There are stairs. She runs up each one with her heart in her feet,

racing to see which will falter first and hoping neither does. She

gets to the top - too scared to worry about breathing - breaks

down the door - too worried to be scared about being followed,

not when she's looking, searching, her mother, her father -

*

"They took them."

*

She doesn't turn at the voice, doesn't ask if he's lying, doesn't

scream, doesn't yell.

*

Her knees give out first.

*

End: 2129

*

Start: 2129

Music: "Summer 78" // Yann Tiersen

*

There's a house on a hill

Green and full of daffodils

And a child I used to know

She rolled in the grass

Made her white dress match

The playground that she claimed as her own

I can hear her laugh when I dream

*

End: 2131

*

*

*

Ache

*
There was something in her eyes tonight

Something in the way it gleamed and made her

Move like she was made of moonlight

Her smile was a play

I didn't have a script but I knew if I asked nicely

She would feed me the lines word for word

Guiding my hands, my mouth, my fingers

Knowing exactly what she wants and how I can deliver

Directing me as to when to stop, when to breathe

How fast and how deep

And I swear I feel her thoughts before she tells me anything

But by morning she disappears

Leaving whispers in my ears

Of scenes filmed entirely in moonlight

*

*

*

Yes, a stranger is a difficult person to write about, especially a stranger that you have never spoken to, never seen from afar, whose voice you've never heard, never even seen a photo of. This defines a true stranger. I came across this individuals blog and I instantly fell in love with their style of writing. Beautiful. Even the chilling poetry feels warm. Simply beautiful. I admire every piece this soul posts. Each one, I can feel, is wrote in true depth, with complete dedication. PLEASE carry on with your wonderful writing Ducky, you are putting people in awe, even if you have no idea.

Day 5 --- You're oldest friend that you still hang out with

JENELLE MOORE

Man, this little lady and I have alot of history!! We have known each other since kindergarten. Since the start she has always been one of my best friends and though I switched up best friends often through my school years, she has always been on my list. she isn't someone I talk to everyday anymore, or hangout with on a regular basis, but we can go for months with out seeing each other and it doesn't matter. That's the beauty of a true friend. You don't need that time to re-get to know one another. You instantly act like you never left each others side. We have definitely grown in our own ways, and though we used to be like the same person when we were young, we have grown drastically different. But again, that makes no difference. It's always a nice feeling to know, that if I ever feel all alone and just need SOMEONE, that it won't matter how long it's been since I last called, or that she has no clue what's going on in my life at the present moment, she'll still be there for me, no matter what. And someone like that doesn't come around very often, and it's even more rare that they last a life time.

The world is easiest to challenge when you learn through mistakes made, and not stories told.

Tell me how the days go by

and how the wind can sing

And how a little bird can soar,

even on broken wing.

Tell me much of how we live,

and how we've come to be.

But how to live and how to act,

don't you dare tell me.

It's definitely a nice feeling when you allow yourself to let go of something that is only holding you back and causing you pain. Especially when you thought it would leave you feeling terrible, and instead leaves you feeling free♥

Day 4 --- Someone you wish you could trade lives with for a day.

JORDAN ETTINGER

This boy is so amazingly gifted in so amazingly many ways!! He can write and draw and design, and film and take incredible photos and he's musically talented and so creative and artsy and jeeze louise just everything I wish I was better at. He lives the life style I only dream of pulling off. Everything he lives, is everything I want to be. Sounds SUPER creepy. But for real, he's living my dream life. Therefor, obviously, the person I'd like to live as for a day. I'd kind of be like teasing myself though, for one day I could live his life and then switch back to my own as if the would were to say to me, "Here, you want it? Ok, you can have it. It's yours. ... JUST KIDDING!! HA HA!" But I'd still take it =P Even just for a day. I'm not saying by any stretch of the means, that I am UNhappy with my current life, no no. I'm wonderfully happy with it. I love who I am and I'm overly pleased with my own set of strengths and talents. But everyone wishes for more, to be just one more step up from what they are, right? Even the happiest of people dream for something better. Jordan Ettinger's life is just that one step up for me. From what I can see from an outside observers point of view that is. Maybe I'm only loving what he presents to the world. Maybe the inside scoop is a whole different story. Maybe I'll will be trapping myself in 24 hours of hidden torture?! This question has many angles. Because along with me living his life for a day, he will at the same time, be living mine. And I'm not totally sure how fond I am of a acquaintance being opened up to all that is Jennine Baughman. That would be a scary situation. So maybe if this question was who's talents would you like to inherit for a day, maybe then I would say Jordan. but now that I really look into this question, I think I can safely say, I would like to be me, forever and for always and keep my life, my own.

Six down, and a life time to go.

One of my very favorite feelings in the whole world is when I am able to check something off of my "100 Things to do Before I Die" list =] It feels AWESOME to know that I am living my life in a way that I am happy with. If you haven't made yourself one of these lists, I strongly suggest you do so.

Day 3 --- Someone you wish would forgive you

DANIEL REAMAN

This guy was absolutely one of the most entertaining people to have around. He always makes you laugh even when it's the last thing you want to do. I had the opportunity, short lived as it was, to become good friends with him. But he's one of those people who does their own thing, goes their own way, and does what they want, when they want, even if it sometimes means leaving people in the dust. Sometime, more often than not, this would lead him to cancel plans, letting you know last minute, or not letting you know at all and just letting you wait around for nothing. As you can probably imagine, this got to be very frustrating. And one night, after yet again another one of his bailing-without-warning stunts, my drunken mind got the better of me and I sent him a probably quite unnecessarily over the top angry message about how much it upset me. The next day I apologized for sending it but I guess it hit him harder than I expected it to and he never replied. I tried a few times over the next long while to apologize and set things right, but he wanted nothing to do with that. And still to this day he hasn't spoken a word to me. I'm not one who regrets much, but that is one thing I forever will. I promised myself and my readers in a post awhile back that that would be the last time I mentioned it and that I was going to forget it. He wants what he wants and I can't change that. But this thirty day challenge of course is bringing it up. So there you have it. Dan, please forgive me. I really really am sorry, and I miss you and all your goofiness.

Day 2 --- Your first crush

MITCHELL TAYLOR

I'm pretty sure he was every girl in my entire elementary school's first crush. But what can you do =]. The thing about him is, he stayed sweet. Most of the time, the boy that all the girls like in elementary school lets all the admiration go to his head and by the time high school rolls around, he's a complete jerk. But he stayed sweet. He was always a gentleman, always polite, caring, selfless, all through high school. And that's says something about a person. When you can hold onto all your values that you had during your first day of school, and graduate your last day with the same set of morals. True integrity.

Day 1 --- Your Best Friend

KELSIE RAE BAKKER

This girly is by far my favorite part about life. We didn't meet each other until April of grade ten (2008) and it wasn't till that summer that we really started to hang out. But by July, we knew we were best friends. and not just one of those best friends for the year things. I knew this was going to be the girl that stuck with me through the rest of high school, and I KNEW she'd be the one best friend I wouldn't lose touch with after graduation. She has been there for me through everything. She know things about me that even I don't know. She's that one friend that you can tell something terrible to and you know she won't change he mind about you. She has shown me how to let loose and be confident, she has shown me religion and the ways it can help you in tough times, and she has shown me what a real best friend is. Don't get me wrong, we still fight. We still disagree on things and yell at each other, but we can fight, and then go to a movie together an hour later. She is the one person I feel absolutely completely comfortable with to be completely and fully my self. We can be wild and goofy with each other. It doesn't matter what we do, we always have fun. Even when we shouldn't be. I honestly have no clue what would happen if I lost her. I would we lost myself. If I hadn't met her when I did, I don't think I would be in a point in my life yet that I'm happy with. Right now, I am completely happy with who I have become and what I've done with myself. And I think a big part of that goes to her, and how she has helped me grow and so, so many different ways. Throughout the years I have had a number of best friends, and they are all still important to me, but she is the one that I have been the closest to, and the one that would kill me the most to ever drift away from. And I truly believe she will still be there beside me on my 80th birthday to take a shot of tequila.
I love you Kelsie Rae Bakker! You are my best friend, and I hope that never ever changes.

P.S. This is for Friday cause I got lazy and didn't post yesterday.

Thirty Day Challenge.

I have seen a lot of people do this on Facebook lately.

Facebook is not a place that feels fitting for this kind of challenge.

A blog, however, is the perfect location!

So, starting tomorrow, or later today technically, I will be posting my daily post =]

I am looking very forward to it!

I looked around for some different challenges and the one I came across was PERFECT.

It's all about the people in your life, which in all honestly is 99 percent what my blog is based on.

So instead of answering questions about myself, I will be telling you about specific people who I have encountered in my past 19 years =]

I hope you enjoy this as much as I will!

Certain people do nothing but make me smile =]

I am fortunate enough to have a couple on these people in my life. A handful of people who have never made me any thing but full of joy =] And are always there when I need them. With out needing to ask. Even if I just need them for a grin. If you have them in you life, these are the people you need to hang onto. Even if you aren't super close. These are the people with hearts worth loving.

My growing list

When I round the corner all I see,

Is all the places I haven't been.

I've got the traveling bug. While I was in Hawaii, we went to the Polynesian centre and it talked about all the other Polynesian countries, they are all pretty different and very interesting. There were also lots of people from all around the world and talk of different cultures and everything seemed exciting and like something I'd like to see one day. It seems that every time I check one place of my list, it adds about five more! Maybe I'll become a travel agent. Then I can get paid to travel and come home and tell people what is good and what is bad. I pretty much already do that! I just don't have my own desk.

Great news!!

Yesterday when I got home, my mom told me we were getting a bird. I cried. I have always wanted a bird!!! It's a cockatiel. They can be taught to talk and mimic things. This one was my cousins but she can't have it where she's living now. It's only a baby, so it can't talk yet but he copies the phone and your whistle. I'm very excited. We get it on the fourteenth of December after my parents get back from their Caribbean cruise! This next month is going to be the longest of my life! Shawn comes down from Lac La Biche on the 15th after exams so I was already dreading the long wait but now I have TWO thing to wait for! I hate waiting. =(

P.S. Coming home from a vacation and still having to wait a month to see your boy blows =(.
Miss you xx

Hawaii in a nut shell

So, I apologize immensely for completely and utterly slacking on my blog posts every day!! It just seemed silly to spend that much time in the morning writing a post when I'd rather be out enjoying Hawaii. And by the time night crawled around, I was more than tired and a only had enough energy left in me to check facebook and reply to messages. But I will fill you in now on all on our adventures!

Wednesday the tenth - We spent the first half of the day on the beach. Gnorman, (My travel Gnome, in case you didn't meet him from my Vegas posts) tagged along and managed to get a hot date with Barbie! They shared a beach towel for a bit and soaked up some sun together. Meanwhile, me and Kelsie found a puffer fish! We scooped him up in a bucket and took a few pictures. I even yelled BOO! at him, but he didn't get scared and didn't want to puff for us, so we let him go. We wandered down the main strip and checked out some other hotels and markets, and then we stumbled across the Ala Mohana mall. Neither of us were in a shopping mood though so we just browsed for a bit then took the bus home. It was one of those awesome accordion buses!! I have never been on one of those! We sat right in the middle in the accordion section =] That night was also the Senor Frogs party. Most bars allow 18 plus, so we could still go to all the bars and clubs, we just couldn't drink. Which was fine by us! We met a couple guys who were in the military and stationed in Hawaii so we talked to them for a while and then we all went and hung out in the foam pit for a while, which was SO fun! If you've never been to a foam party then I highly suggest you add it to your to do list!!

Thursday the eleventh - Most of this day we spent on the beach, until I got a little rosy on my shoulders and chest. I guess that's what happens when you fall asleep in the sun. We spent the rest of the evening doing some shopping and watching the street performers.

Friday the twelfth - This was the day we went surfing!!! =D I absolutely, totally and completely am in love with surfing!!! I could do this every single day of my life!!! It's a very painful sport. We went to an area that wasn't very deep because it was surrounded by a reef. It was a great spot to learn to surf, because the reef made perfect waves and the shallow water kept them simple, great for learning, but inside the reef, right below the shallow water was jagged volcano rock, covering the ocean floor so when you fell, your knees and ankles scraped up against it and cut you up like no tomorrow. And paddling back out after riding the wave in was a lot of effort and tough on the muscles right behind your shoulders unless you are used to laying on a board and paddling through the water against the waves. But even with all that, surfing was more than worth it.

Saturday the thirteenth - We did some more shopping and a bit of time on the beach, but that evening was that fun part. We went on a pub crawl to five different bars in Waikiki. Again, we were still underage so we couldn't drink but we still had fun. When we first got there we met two kids from Alaska who were visiting Hawaii for a bit, and later on we met two more military boys named Matt and Dakota stationed in Hawaii. We spent the rest of the crawl with them, they were a lot of fun and danced stupid with us and took crazy pictures and all in all made it a good time, by the time we got to the second last bar though me and Kelsie were tired and that bar sucked so we sat outside till the group went to the next bar, but by that time we had lost Matt and Dakota, so we just called it a night and took off early. But it was still a fun time.

Sunday the fourteenth - Tuesday, we walked down to Senor Frogs. It's a fun little restaurant that every once in a while they turn into a bar for the night and throw a party, this is what we attended on Wednesday night, but the first time we went there we were in the gift shop and we talked to the cashier (Corey) and asked him what there was to do in Waikiki during the day, because we were sick of walking up and down the strip already by the second day. He said well actually, mostly you'll what to get out of Waikiki. We told him we didn't have a vehicle and weren't familiar with anything around the island. That's when he told us about Your Way Adventures. He did day tours where you payed 150 for a full day of whatever you wanted to do. And Sunday was the day we booked him for. So he took us up to North Shore, away from the big touristy areas. We drove around and looked at all the really pretty, uncrowded beaches and saw some HUGE waves! The kind that the pro surfers ride. One of the beaches was were the Pipe Masters competition takes place. Then he took us up to the volcano and we hiked up a bit of that to a pretty little waterfall site. Me and Kels went in and took some pictures with his water proof camera. Right as we were about to start the hike back down my flip flop broke so I walked down most of the way bare foot which was fine cause it was mostly just mud but then we got closer to the bottom and the mud stopped and the shale like rocks began. This is where Kelsie started piggy backing me. Good thing she has leg muscles like a champ! We learned that there is not a single snake on the Hawaiian islands which baffles me, but what they do have, and this we found out when they ran across the path in front of us is wild roosters!!!
After the hike we went to a look out point closer to the top of the volcano that over looked all of Waikiki Beach. t was a really nice view. Then Corey drove us to the local swap meet, which was like a farmers market. I bought some fresh Hawaiian fruit. Most of it I had never tried before but it was all pretty good! Then we went for lunch and on the way stopped at the Dole plantation which was pretty boring. We burned to a crisp waiting for our food in the outside restaurant. After that we went to turtle bay, where the sea turtles like to crawl up onto the beach and soak up some sun, there were five of them there that day. They are SO huge, but super cute =] We tried to snorkel at that beach but the waves were too big and just thrashed you against the rocks and stirred up the water so we headed down a bit more and found Shark's Cove. No sharks but the area was surrounded by a high reef so the waves didn't come in and the cove was very calm and filled with life! We saw lots of cool fish and some crabs and sea urchins and lots of really pretty coral. It's awesome seeing things from that point of view. After that we headed back home. The drive back was really pretty. The north side of the island gets most of the rain so the vegetation is really thick up there and it's just like a jungle of tropical plants. That side of the island is also where like a zillion movies are filmed like Forgetting Sarah Marshal, 50 First Dates, Lost and Jurassic Park, just to name a few. All in all that day was my favorite. And again, WELL worth the money.

Monday the fifteenth -This was Kelsie's birthday. We spent it at the Polynesian center which was really cool. It was like a huge place made up of different villages each representing one of the Polynesian islands. They did lots of demonstrations of how they used to live and one guy climbed a coconut tree and pick, husked, cracked strained and cleaned out a coconut shell. Really cool. We learned how to do the hula and the fast hip shake dance and we road a traditional canoe. They ended it off with a luau and dance entertainment while you ate and then a show after wards called Ha Breath Of Life which was AWESOME!! They did traditional dances throughout and fire dances where they would literally dance IN the flames of the fire. And lots of cool tricks with fire. Really cool.

Tuesday was our last day. We had a ride on the Screamer booked, which is like a roller coaster boat in the water but it got cancelled so we spent the day doing some last minute shopping. Our plane ride was at 830. Our seats were in the middle at the VERY back of the airplane, and we sat beside another military guy. He was also 20, (same as all the other military guys we met). He was a lot of fun and made the 7 and a half hour plane ride go by fast. He was going home for a funeral, but said we were the best way to get his mind off of it. By far one of the most enjoyable plane ride I have been on yet. We landed in Dallas Texas and had a two hour layover, which I slept 99 percent of. Then our 4 hour ride back to Calgary,which I also slept through. Kyle (Kelsie's boyfriend) and our friend Jesse picked us up at the airport and then made us spend another couple hours in the Cross Iron Mills mall. Cruel if you ask me, all we wanted to do was go home. By this time it was about 530 pm and Wednesday. I slept again then entire way from Calgary to home.

The trip was awesome and I can see myself living there someday, but I was definitely ready to be home =]